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Conversations between men and women are somewhat similar to what happens when you translate something from English to Spanish. A short sentence in English can turn out to be a verbose, long sentence in Spanish. Isn’t that right? Similarly, men’s conversations are generally straight to the point. Short & concise. Yet, the very same conversation […]

The post How to Communicate Effectively with Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6177) "

Conversations between men and women are somewhat similar to what happens when you translate something from English to Spanish. A short sentence in English can turn out to be a verbose, long sentence in Spanish. Isn’t that right?

Similarly, men’s conversations are generally straight to the point. Short & concise. Yet, the very same conversation by a woman might include more detail, background information and even an emotional flair, making the communication moment a much longer and involved one. How many times have you found yourself telling your boyfriend or husband something, and your partner cuts you off and says “OK, so what happened…” Upsetting right? Makes you feel like he doesn’t want to listen to what you have to say. Well, that isn’t so. We’re just wired differently.

Tips on Communicating More Effectively with the Men in Your Life

1.  Get to the Point: As mentioned above, if you have something you need to say, be clear, concise and to the point.  Preferably, use short sentences (some suggest 11 words or less, but let’s not push it…).

Example:

woman: “Honey, guess what happened this morning…On my way to work, I was driving on the left lane when this idiot got in my way and almost hit my car…I got so upset…”

man: Some guy almost hit me this morning while driving…”

2. Say what you really want to say: Men are not mind readers. If you want your man, your boss or your son do something for you, say it. Say it exactly how you want it. If you want your husband to go do groceries, don’t vascillate and say how empty the refrigerator is. For all he knows, you might just be making small talk. Simply say “I need groceries done, can you do it now?” Notice also how I added the “now” at the end. Provide not only the what, but also the when, and if necessary, the how, to make sure you’ve communicated exactly what you need.

3. Don’t focus on the non-verbal behaviors: One thing I am guilty of doing is accusing my husband of not listening just because he doesn’t make constant eye-contact. I can also be overly sensitive to any non-verbal behavior that might suggest he is not fully engaged in the conversation. But whenever I complain about him not really listening or paying attention, he reminds me that he is listening. Again, this is a result of our gender differences in communication styles. When women talk with one another, they tend to make good eye-contact, and tune into each other’s emotions, while also verbally accentuating the conversation at hand. Don’t expect the same from your man, you might end up feeling quite frustrated.

4.  Be confident: Regardless of who you are talking to, men or woman, always come across confident in what you need to say.  If you’re in a work meeting, using a confident tone of voice will come across completely different than if you show doubt in your input.  So speak loud enough to be heard, clearly and concisely.  Most importantly, make eye-contact with those you around you.

5.  Don’t be a mind reader: Just because your partner is quietly listening, or doesn’t offer a comment right away, it doesn’t mean this or that.  Give him time to process what you’re saying.  Don’t be too quick to assume he’s not interested or bored.

6.  Don’t expect him to communicate like your girl friends: Don’t always expect the patient, head nodding, understanding facial expression you’ll get from your girlfriend when talking to your guy.  Instead, be prepared for him to offer a some sort of logical solution (as if you couldn’t come up with that yourself).

7.  Listen: Do you ever ask yourself if YOU are listening?  If he says X, trust that he means X, not Y.  Remember, men are more likely to say what they mean, and mean what they say.

8. Avoid the drama: If your conversations with your partner tend to escalate into an emotional tirade, or if your communication is packed with heavy emotions, be prepare for your guy to tune out.  In worst cases, he might end up avoiding talking to you, or leaving the scene of the heavy conversation.

9.  Timing matters: Ladies, talking about heavy topics while you are both getting ready to go to sleep, or while your hubby is watching his favorite sports game, will inevitably fall on deaf ears.  For heavy conversations or important matters, talking while taking a walk together is a wonderful idea.  You can also have an intimate conversation while dinning together, or having a picnic at the park.

10.  Use humor: There are times when the use of humor can communicate something that might otherwise come out strongly.  If being funny is your style, go ahead and experiment with humor.  You’ll be surprised how a joke can lighten up an otherwise difficult conversation.

Final Note: We certainly don’t need to change the way we communicate in order to accommodate men’s style of communication.  However, being mindful of the vast difference between the two sexes will certainly go a long way to helping you feel listened to, understood and validated.

The post How to Communicate Effectively with Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Conversations between men and women are somewhat similar to what happens when you translate something from English to Spanish. A short sentence in English can turn out to be a verbose, long sentence in Spanish. Isn’t that right? Similarly, men’s conversations are generally straight to the point. Short & concise. Yet, the very same conversation […]

The post How to Communicate Effectively with Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6177) "

Conversations between men and women are somewhat similar to what happens when you translate something from English to Spanish. A short sentence in English can turn out to be a verbose, long sentence in Spanish. Isn’t that right?

Similarly, men’s conversations are generally straight to the point. Short & concise. Yet, the very same conversation by a woman might include more detail, background information and even an emotional flair, making the communication moment a much longer and involved one. How many times have you found yourself telling your boyfriend or husband something, and your partner cuts you off and says “OK, so what happened…” Upsetting right? Makes you feel like he doesn’t want to listen to what you have to say. Well, that isn’t so. We’re just wired differently.

Tips on Communicating More Effectively with the Men in Your Life

1.  Get to the Point: As mentioned above, if you have something you need to say, be clear, concise and to the point.  Preferably, use short sentences (some suggest 11 words or less, but let’s not push it…).

Example:

woman: “Honey, guess what happened this morning…On my way to work, I was driving on the left lane when this idiot got in my way and almost hit my car…I got so upset…”

man: Some guy almost hit me this morning while driving…”

2. Say what you really want to say: Men are not mind readers. If you want your man, your boss or your son do something for you, say it. Say it exactly how you want it. If you want your husband to go do groceries, don’t vascillate and say how empty the refrigerator is. For all he knows, you might just be making small talk. Simply say “I need groceries done, can you do it now?” Notice also how I added the “now” at the end. Provide not only the what, but also the when, and if necessary, the how, to make sure you’ve communicated exactly what you need.

3. Don’t focus on the non-verbal behaviors: One thing I am guilty of doing is accusing my husband of not listening just because he doesn’t make constant eye-contact. I can also be overly sensitive to any non-verbal behavior that might suggest he is not fully engaged in the conversation. But whenever I complain about him not really listening or paying attention, he reminds me that he is listening. Again, this is a result of our gender differences in communication styles. When women talk with one another, they tend to make good eye-contact, and tune into each other’s emotions, while also verbally accentuating the conversation at hand. Don’t expect the same from your man, you might end up feeling quite frustrated.

4.  Be confident: Regardless of who you are talking to, men or woman, always come across confident in what you need to say.  If you’re in a work meeting, using a confident tone of voice will come across completely different than if you show doubt in your input.  So speak loud enough to be heard, clearly and concisely.  Most importantly, make eye-contact with those you around you.

5.  Don’t be a mind reader: Just because your partner is quietly listening, or doesn’t offer a comment right away, it doesn’t mean this or that.  Give him time to process what you’re saying.  Don’t be too quick to assume he’s not interested or bored.

6.  Don’t expect him to communicate like your girl friends: Don’t always expect the patient, head nodding, understanding facial expression you’ll get from your girlfriend when talking to your guy.  Instead, be prepared for him to offer a some sort of logical solution (as if you couldn’t come up with that yourself).

7.  Listen: Do you ever ask yourself if YOU are listening?  If he says X, trust that he means X, not Y.  Remember, men are more likely to say what they mean, and mean what they say.

8. Avoid the drama: If your conversations with your partner tend to escalate into an emotional tirade, or if your communication is packed with heavy emotions, be prepare for your guy to tune out.  In worst cases, he might end up avoiding talking to you, or leaving the scene of the heavy conversation.

9.  Timing matters: Ladies, talking about heavy topics while you are both getting ready to go to sleep, or while your hubby is watching his favorite sports game, will inevitably fall on deaf ears.  For heavy conversations or important matters, talking while taking a walk together is a wonderful idea.  You can also have an intimate conversation while dinning together, or having a picnic at the park.

10.  Use humor: There are times when the use of humor can communicate something that might otherwise come out strongly.  If being funny is your style, go ahead and experiment with humor.  You’ll be surprised how a joke can lighten up an otherwise difficult conversation.

Final Note: We certainly don’t need to change the way we communicate in order to accommodate men’s style of communication.  However, being mindful of the vast difference between the two sexes will certainly go a long way to helping you feel listened to, understood and validated.

The post How to Communicate Effectively with Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1629729543) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(38) "Have You Ever Fallen In Love with You?" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/have-you-ever-fallen-in-love-with-you/" ["comments"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/have-you-ever-fallen-in-love-with-you/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Sarah Hill" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 23 Aug 2021 14:31:25 +0000" ["category"]=> string(53) "Relationship AdviceConfidentlyunhealthy relationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8066" ["description"]=> string(558) "

How many times have you fallen in love?  Once? Perhaps more? When we’re truly in love with someone, we think about that person all the time and do special things for them. We want to spend time with them.  But, I ask you: Have you ever fallen in love with you? Learning to love and […]

The post Have You Ever Fallen In Love with You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4396) "
How many times have you fallen in love?  Once? Perhaps more?
When we’re truly in love with someone, we think about that person all the time and do special things for them. We want to spend time with them.  But, I ask you: Have you ever fallen in love with you?
Learning to love and take care of the person in the mirror can be quite a task. Between our busy work schedule and finding time for our careers, families and other obligations, it’s easy to lose track of the one special person who needs us the most — ourselves!
Whether you’re young, older, single without kids, or married with a soccer team, most women can agree that there are areas of self-love that they can improve.  No one in this world can love you more than yourself..

Want to fall in love with you?  Start with these three powerful tips!  

Carry Yourself Confidently

Have you been to public fitting rooms in a women’s clothing store and really paid attention to what women say as they are trying on their clothes? I have.  You’ll hear an occasional “This looks great on me!” or “I love this!”, but mostly a lot of self-criticism happens inside that room. We need to learn to love the skin we’re in.
.
 It’s easy to get sucked into beating ourselves up for how we look and buying into all the diet fads and getting the best SPANX we can find. I am not saying we shouldn’t try to look our best, but let’s do it with love. No, you’re not going to fit into a size 4 pair of skinny jeans when you normally wear a size 10 overnight. But you can be just as fabulous wearing clothes that fit you and your body type. At the end of the day, the woman that makes a lasting impression isn’t always the skinniest or the prettiest. She’s the one that has killer confidence and leaves everyone thinking that she’s just as fabulous as she believes she is.

Runaway from Unhealthy Relationships

Being around positive people and those who love us plays a big role in how much we value ourselves. After all, the people we choose as our close friends and partners are a reflection of who we are. If you don’t feel that your partner brings out the best in you or doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, let them go! Being in dysfunctional relationships ultimately leave us unhappy and with low self-esteem, which can be very damaging. Always be prepared to put on your killer pumps and walk out of an unhappy relationship.
Too many women stay in unhealthy relationships for too long, for the wrong reasons, ultimately compromising their value. And when you’re willing to compromise too much of who you are and what you deserve, finding that self-love can be very challenging.  Same thing goes for our friends. Being around other men and women that love and respect us is crucial for our development as healthy individuals.

Get Out —  Make Time for Yourself!

Everyone needs to unwind from the daily grind.  Go out for walks. Take that salsa class you’ve been wanting to take (I sure am). Learn a new skill or sport (tennis, anyone?). Sign up for money-saving sites like Groupon or LivingSocial, and find a good deal on spas, kickboxing, or an affordable girl’s night out at your local restaurant. I know you’re busy. We all are. Between work and other responsibilities, there aren’t enough hours in a day for us to get our things done. But you HAVE to TRY.
Step out of your comfort zone and learn more ways you can show love to the amazing woman you are.

The post Have You Ever Fallen In Love with You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(81) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/have-you-ever-fallen-in-love-with-you/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(558) "

How many times have you fallen in love?  Once? Perhaps more? When we’re truly in love with someone, we think about that person all the time and do special things for them. We want to spend time with them.  But, I ask you: Have you ever fallen in love with you? Learning to love and […]

The post Have You Ever Fallen In Love with You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4396) "
How many times have you fallen in love?  Once? Perhaps more?
When we’re truly in love with someone, we think about that person all the time and do special things for them. We want to spend time with them.  But, I ask you: Have you ever fallen in love with you?
Learning to love and take care of the person in the mirror can be quite a task. Between our busy work schedule and finding time for our careers, families and other obligations, it’s easy to lose track of the one special person who needs us the most — ourselves!
Whether you’re young, older, single without kids, or married with a soccer team, most women can agree that there are areas of self-love that they can improve.  No one in this world can love you more than yourself..

Want to fall in love with you?  Start with these three powerful tips!  

Carry Yourself Confidently

Have you been to public fitting rooms in a women’s clothing store and really paid attention to what women say as they are trying on their clothes? I have.  You’ll hear an occasional “This looks great on me!” or “I love this!”, but mostly a lot of self-criticism happens inside that room. We need to learn to love the skin we’re in.
.
 It’s easy to get sucked into beating ourselves up for how we look and buying into all the diet fads and getting the best SPANX we can find. I am not saying we shouldn’t try to look our best, but let’s do it with love. No, you’re not going to fit into a size 4 pair of skinny jeans when you normally wear a size 10 overnight. But you can be just as fabulous wearing clothes that fit you and your body type. At the end of the day, the woman that makes a lasting impression isn’t always the skinniest or the prettiest. She’s the one that has killer confidence and leaves everyone thinking that she’s just as fabulous as she believes she is.

Runaway from Unhealthy Relationships

Being around positive people and those who love us plays a big role in how much we value ourselves. After all, the people we choose as our close friends and partners are a reflection of who we are. If you don’t feel that your partner brings out the best in you or doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, let them go! Being in dysfunctional relationships ultimately leave us unhappy and with low self-esteem, which can be very damaging. Always be prepared to put on your killer pumps and walk out of an unhappy relationship.
Too many women stay in unhealthy relationships for too long, for the wrong reasons, ultimately compromising their value. And when you’re willing to compromise too much of who you are and what you deserve, finding that self-love can be very challenging.  Same thing goes for our friends. Being around other men and women that love and respect us is crucial for our development as healthy individuals.

Get Out —  Make Time for Yourself!

Everyone needs to unwind from the daily grind.  Go out for walks. Take that salsa class you’ve been wanting to take (I sure am). Learn a new skill or sport (tennis, anyone?). Sign up for money-saving sites like Groupon or LivingSocial, and find a good deal on spas, kickboxing, or an affordable girl’s night out at your local restaurant. I know you’re busy. We all are. Between work and other responsibilities, there aren’t enough hours in a day for us to get our things done. But you HAVE to TRY.
Step out of your comfort zone and learn more ways you can show love to the amazing woman you are.

The post Have You Ever Fallen In Love with You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1629729085) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(50) "What to Expect From Dating a Married Man – Ouch!" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/what-to-expect-from-dating-a-married-man-ouch/" ["comments"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/what-to-expect-from-dating-a-married-man-ouch/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 23 Aug 2021 14:24:33 +0000" ["category"]=> string(94) "Dating AdviceBe SkepticalBelieve in yourselfDating a Married ManSelf-Absorved GuyTainted Gifts" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8063" ["description"]=> string(640) "

Any, or all of these, should answer that question: Nothing. Women who date married men often believe that they’re entitled to more from these men because they’re going beyond moral ethics to show their love and commitment.  Not so.  In his eyes, he owes you nothing. Lots of promises. Relationships laced with infidelity often get stuck in […]

The post What to Expect From Dating a Married Man – Ouch! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3681) "

Any, or all of these, should answer that question:

Nothing. Women who date married men often believe that they’re entitled to more from these men because they’re going beyond moral ethics to show their love and commitment.  Not so.  In his eyes, he owes you nothing.

Lots of promises. Relationships laced with infidelity often get stuck in a waiting-until-he-does-this-or-that period.  The relationship is prolonged by unfounded promises which, in reality, are illusions.  Do you really believe he’s going to undo his marriage? — go through the social, familial, economic and emotional unraveling that a divorce can cause?  Humm…

A Self-Absorved Guy: For most men, part of the enticement of being in a relationship outside their marriage, is experiencing the “I am King of the Land” feeling.  Having another woman’s attention and perceived unconditional love is good medicine for a guy with a weak ego.

Lies and Made Up Stories: Ever wonder why most married men pursuing you have a sad story to share about their marriage?  ”We haven’t had sex for the past 5 years…”  ”I haven’t been in love with my wife in years…but she’s very ill…I can’t leave her now.” Pobrecito.  If you hear a story like this one, run as far as you can.

Being #2: Regardless of what he tells you under the covers, when you’re la otra, you are number 2 (or maybe number 3!).  Are you OK with being #2?

Lots of Tainted Gifts: Oh, the gifts…the jewelry, the wine bottles, the trips to expensive hotels, the shopping sprees.  But before unwrapping your gifts, know that these are tainted with guilt, remorse and sometimes manipulation.  Oh, and don’t forget the gifts come from his wife, too.  As his legal wife, his finances are shared equally — so she’s paying 50% of the cost of that expensive perfume he gave you for Christmas.

What to do if you’re dating a married man?

Ask yourself “Why” – a simple question, with a big, complicated answer.  Don’t know where to start?  Talk to a trusted, wise friend, and educate yourself on issues of infidelity.  If being in this type of relationship is emotionally consuming you, don’t hesitate to seek professional counseling to explore what’s going on.

Be Skeptical: Don’t believe or trust everything he says, promises or shows you.

Believe in yourself: Don’t you deserve better?  More?  Why settle by sharing a man?  Why not have a man all to yourself?

Just Do It: These types of relationships have an addictive component, sprinkled with the thrill of secrecy.  But if you’re tired of waiting, feeling stuck, or kept in the dark, you’ll need to just do it — empower yourself by ending the relationship — before you’re the one dropped like a shoe.  It won’t be easy at first, but it will surely give you the power you’ve never had in this relationship.

The post What to Expect From Dating a Married Man – Ouch! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(89) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/what-to-expect-from-dating-a-married-man-ouch/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(640) "

Any, or all of these, should answer that question: Nothing. Women who date married men often believe that they’re entitled to more from these men because they’re going beyond moral ethics to show their love and commitment.  Not so.  In his eyes, he owes you nothing. Lots of promises. Relationships laced with infidelity often get stuck in […]

The post What to Expect From Dating a Married Man – Ouch! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3681) "

Any, or all of these, should answer that question:

Nothing. Women who date married men often believe that they’re entitled to more from these men because they’re going beyond moral ethics to show their love and commitment.  Not so.  In his eyes, he owes you nothing.

Lots of promises. Relationships laced with infidelity often get stuck in a waiting-until-he-does-this-or-that period.  The relationship is prolonged by unfounded promises which, in reality, are illusions.  Do you really believe he’s going to undo his marriage? — go through the social, familial, economic and emotional unraveling that a divorce can cause?  Humm…

A Self-Absorved Guy: For most men, part of the enticement of being in a relationship outside their marriage, is experiencing the “I am King of the Land” feeling.  Having another woman’s attention and perceived unconditional love is good medicine for a guy with a weak ego.

Lies and Made Up Stories: Ever wonder why most married men pursuing you have a sad story to share about their marriage?  ”We haven’t had sex for the past 5 years…”  ”I haven’t been in love with my wife in years…but she’s very ill…I can’t leave her now.” Pobrecito.  If you hear a story like this one, run as far as you can.

Being #2: Regardless of what he tells you under the covers, when you’re la otra, you are number 2 (or maybe number 3!).  Are you OK with being #2?

Lots of Tainted Gifts: Oh, the gifts…the jewelry, the wine bottles, the trips to expensive hotels, the shopping sprees.  But before unwrapping your gifts, know that these are tainted with guilt, remorse and sometimes manipulation.  Oh, and don’t forget the gifts come from his wife, too.  As his legal wife, his finances are shared equally — so she’s paying 50% of the cost of that expensive perfume he gave you for Christmas.

What to do if you’re dating a married man?

Ask yourself “Why” – a simple question, with a big, complicated answer.  Don’t know where to start?  Talk to a trusted, wise friend, and educate yourself on issues of infidelity.  If being in this type of relationship is emotionally consuming you, don’t hesitate to seek professional counseling to explore what’s going on.

Be Skeptical: Don’t believe or trust everything he says, promises or shows you.

Believe in yourself: Don’t you deserve better?  More?  Why settle by sharing a man?  Why not have a man all to yourself?

Just Do It: These types of relationships have an addictive component, sprinkled with the thrill of secrecy.  But if you’re tired of waiting, feeling stuck, or kept in the dark, you’ll need to just do it — empower yourself by ending the relationship — before you’re the one dropped like a shoe.  It won’t be easy at first, but it will surely give you the power you’ve never had in this relationship.

The post What to Expect From Dating a Married Man – Ouch! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1629728673) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(66) "Communication Tips for Couples Who Don’t Share a Native Language" ["link"]=> string(102) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/communication-tips-for-couples-who-dont-share-a-native-language/" ["comments"]=> string(110) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/communication-tips-for-couples-who-dont-share-a-native-language/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Sarah Hill" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 23 Aug 2021 14:18:30 +0000" ["category"]=> string(85) "Dating AdviceAnalogiesCommunicate with AffectionDrawingsforeignerHumorNative Language" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8060" ["description"]=> string(650) "

It’s been said that men and women don’t speak the same language. Imagine how much more complicated marriage can be could be when “not speaking the same” language isn’t a ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ exaggeration, but literal truth.This was the case for my husband and me early in our marriage. As […]

The post Communication Tips for Couples Who Don’t Share a Native Language appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5438) "

It’s been said that men and women don’t speak the same language.

Imagine how much more complicated marriage can be could be when “not speaking the same” language isn’t a ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ exaggeration, but literal truth.This was the case for my husband and me early in our marriage. As an Anglo-American, born and raised in the United States, English is my first language. As an immigrant from El Salvador, my Latino husband’s first language is Spanish. When we met, we could barely communicate verbally, yet here we are, married for 14 years. How is it possible?

The marriage experts are right about communication being key to a successful marriage, but what happens when, due to linguistic and cultural barriers, a couple isn’t able to effectively express themselves or understand their partner?

Marriage is difficult, but interracial, bi-cultural, interfaith, multi-national, and other such “mixed” marriages, are even more so. While “mixed” couples face greater challenges than partners of similar backgrounds, good communication is still possible.

It takes strength, patience, and of course love, but it also requires creativity to bridge the inevitable gaps in understanding that occur when one’s vocabulary limits their ability to express what they’re really feeling. Here are three strategies I use in my marriage, which focus on the linguistic difficulties faced by mixed couples who don’t share a common native language.

1. Use Humor

Humor is universal, and can provide a much needed respite from tension, but the type of humor used matters greatly.

In the Latin American culture, what is considered an affectionate nickname may cause hurt feelings to those from other parts of the world.  It is not uncommon for Latin American family members to call each other names such as “gordita”, “flaco”, “prieta”, and “cabezón”, (chubby, skinny, dark-skinned, and big-headed).  These words of endearment can be interpreted as insults by the uninitiated.

Likewise, American sarcasm is not always appreciated or easy to understand for those who didn’t grow up in the United States. For a non-native English speaker, the way Americans say one thing while meaning the complete opposite can be confusing since most acquire a literal understanding of vocabulary before being able to decipher the intonation which helps indicate the speaker’s emotions.

2.  Use Analogies

As a writer, I’m quite fond of analogies.  I love how they simplify ideas while painting a picture that gives insight and perspective!

Analogies have been used by motivational speakers for years because they are effective in conveying concepts and making them easy to remember. Analogies can also be used to great effect to help your partner understand what you’re trying to communicate when the message is too complex linguistically.

Next time you feel your message is getting lost in translation, see if you can come up with an analogy that your partner may be better able to relate to and understand. It’s particularly helpful to draw from real life examples that your partner is familiar with. For example, if you want to drive home the point that it’s important to cooperate, and your partner is handy with tools, make up an analogy using a hammer and nails, (one doesn’t work without the other!)

3.  Use Drawings

Before there was written language, there were drawings. Pictographs have been used since prehistoric times by cultures around the world to tell stories without words. Drawings, no matter your artistic ability, can be an excellent communication tool when your vocabulary fails you.

In the early years of our marriage, when my Spanish and my husband’s English were far from fluent, we used drawings to supplement our limited conversation and to learn new words. So, keep a pad of paper and pencil handy and don’t be shy – no one is expecting a Picasso.  Create memories and watch your progress.  Don’t throw away the sketches you both draw! These drawings will become treasured mementos one day. I still have a few of our drawings and it’s fun to look back and laugh at some of the words we didn’t know back then.

4.  When All Else Fails, Communicate with Affection

Lastly, remember that despite all your creative efforts, there will be times when you find yourself feeling confused and frustrated. Sometimes it’s okay to give up on communication, at least for a little while, and just give your partner a firm embrace.  Hugs and kisses need no translation.

If you are (or were) in a relationship with someone who is (was) not fluent in your language, what are (or were) some of the communicate tips you’ve used?

The post Communication Tips for Couples Who Don’t Share a Native Language appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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It’s been said that men and women don’t speak the same language. Imagine how much more complicated marriage can be could be when “not speaking the same” language isn’t a ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ exaggeration, but literal truth.This was the case for my husband and me early in our marriage. As […]

The post Communication Tips for Couples Who Don’t Share a Native Language appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5438) "

It’s been said that men and women don’t speak the same language.

Imagine how much more complicated marriage can be could be when “not speaking the same” language isn’t a ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ exaggeration, but literal truth.This was the case for my husband and me early in our marriage. As an Anglo-American, born and raised in the United States, English is my first language. As an immigrant from El Salvador, my Latino husband’s first language is Spanish. When we met, we could barely communicate verbally, yet here we are, married for 14 years. How is it possible?

The marriage experts are right about communication being key to a successful marriage, but what happens when, due to linguistic and cultural barriers, a couple isn’t able to effectively express themselves or understand their partner?

Marriage is difficult, but interracial, bi-cultural, interfaith, multi-national, and other such “mixed” marriages, are even more so. While “mixed” couples face greater challenges than partners of similar backgrounds, good communication is still possible.

It takes strength, patience, and of course love, but it also requires creativity to bridge the inevitable gaps in understanding that occur when one’s vocabulary limits their ability to express what they’re really feeling. Here are three strategies I use in my marriage, which focus on the linguistic difficulties faced by mixed couples who don’t share a common native language.

1. Use Humor

Humor is universal, and can provide a much needed respite from tension, but the type of humor used matters greatly.

In the Latin American culture, what is considered an affectionate nickname may cause hurt feelings to those from other parts of the world.  It is not uncommon for Latin American family members to call each other names such as “gordita”, “flaco”, “prieta”, and “cabezón”, (chubby, skinny, dark-skinned, and big-headed).  These words of endearment can be interpreted as insults by the uninitiated.

Likewise, American sarcasm is not always appreciated or easy to understand for those who didn’t grow up in the United States. For a non-native English speaker, the way Americans say one thing while meaning the complete opposite can be confusing since most acquire a literal understanding of vocabulary before being able to decipher the intonation which helps indicate the speaker’s emotions.

2.  Use Analogies

As a writer, I’m quite fond of analogies.  I love how they simplify ideas while painting a picture that gives insight and perspective!

Analogies have been used by motivational speakers for years because they are effective in conveying concepts and making them easy to remember. Analogies can also be used to great effect to help your partner understand what you’re trying to communicate when the message is too complex linguistically.

Next time you feel your message is getting lost in translation, see if you can come up with an analogy that your partner may be better able to relate to and understand. It’s particularly helpful to draw from real life examples that your partner is familiar with. For example, if you want to drive home the point that it’s important to cooperate, and your partner is handy with tools, make up an analogy using a hammer and nails, (one doesn’t work without the other!)

3.  Use Drawings

Before there was written language, there were drawings. Pictographs have been used since prehistoric times by cultures around the world to tell stories without words. Drawings, no matter your artistic ability, can be an excellent communication tool when your vocabulary fails you.

In the early years of our marriage, when my Spanish and my husband’s English were far from fluent, we used drawings to supplement our limited conversation and to learn new words. So, keep a pad of paper and pencil handy and don’t be shy – no one is expecting a Picasso.  Create memories and watch your progress.  Don’t throw away the sketches you both draw! These drawings will become treasured mementos one day. I still have a few of our drawings and it’s fun to look back and laugh at some of the words we didn’t know back then.

4.  When All Else Fails, Communicate with Affection

Lastly, remember that despite all your creative efforts, there will be times when you find yourself feeling confused and frustrated. Sometimes it’s okay to give up on communication, at least for a little while, and just give your partner a firm embrace.  Hugs and kisses need no translation.

If you are (or were) in a relationship with someone who is (was) not fluent in your language, what are (or were) some of the communicate tips you’ve used?

The post Communication Tips for Couples Who Don’t Share a Native Language appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1629728310) } [4]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(51) "The Types of Guys You’ll Meet in the Dating Scene" ["link"]=> string(87) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/13/the-types-of-guys-youll-meet-in-the-dating-scene/" ["comments"]=> string(95) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/13/the-types-of-guys-youll-meet-in-the-dating-scene/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 13 Aug 2021 10:45:35 +0000" ["category"]=> string(13) "Dating Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8047" ["description"]=> string(609) "

Online dating is definitely fun, but the dating experience itself can surely be a ride! The best part about online dating is all the different types of people you will always meet. Sure enough, the worst part is all the people you will meet—especially if they’re not your type! If you’re not quite sure the […]

The post The Types of Guys You’ll Meet in the Dating Scene appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4939) "

Online dating is definitely fun, but the dating experience itself can surely be a ride! The best part about online dating is all the different types of people you will always meet. Sure enough, the worst part is all the people you will meet—especially if they’re not your type! If you’re not quite sure the type of man you’re searching for online or offline, then this article should definitely at least give you a good point to set your expectations off of. Of course, making the abbreviated list of the types of men you’ll always meet is always easier when you date online and have access to men’s profiles that give out their personality much better than he himself can. So here you can meet all of guys we mentioned and choose yourself. Online dating gets a lot easier if you have the skills and knowledge before you approach potential partners, so we’re going to make your job easier by listing types of men you can meet online and providing instructions on how to deal with them.

The One Who Loves Himself

Unfortunately, some people are just conceited, and while there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, it certainly does pose a big issue when it comes to relationships. After all, if he’s always only paying attention to himself, then who’s going to give his date the attention they certainly deserve? This type of guy is, unfortunately, really only good for casual hookups, so ladies actually looking for a serious relationship will definitely want to avoid him. Fortunately, there’s always an easy way to find out if a potentially great man is actually this type of bad guy! Does he have more than one shirtless photo on his profile? If so, next!

The Funny Guy

It can definitely be easy to quickly write this potential guy off as undateable, but in truth, he probably has a lot more potential than one might actually think! Funny guys can often be some of the kindest souls since they always gain happiness by making other people smile, but if they’re unfortunately unable to keep a lid on the jokes, their appeal definitely might wear off. If he can actually carry a serious conversation, though, he’s probably worth dating. Funny, attractive, & caring? Yes, please!

The One Who Looks Nothing Like His Profile Picture

Ah, the catfish. We won’t speak of what this bad guy actually looks like; rather, we’ll speak of how he does not. If a lady is approached by a random profile that only has one or two photos (of an extremely attractive man!), then the likelihood that his profile pictures don’t match his actual appearance is definitely quite high. While this is always possible to avoid to an extent by using only trusted services with brilliant features it’s unfortunately likely that most singles will run into a catfish once in a while regardless. The best way to actually determine that the person you see is definitely the person you’re talking to? Just ask for a picture!

The One Who is Only Here to Have a Good Time

If an amazing guy quickly starts off the conversation talking about how “hot” a girl is, that’s certainly fairly normal. However, if that’s actually all he ever talks about, chances are, he’s definitely not there for a serious relationship. Of course, ladies can always find out for sure by simply asking him. If he actually only wants to hook up, he’ll certainly be sure to let them know (as long as they’re blunt about it when asking!). However, it’s actually also possible to easily find out by asking him on a date. If the entire time he’s just trying to take you back to his place, he’s probably not in it for the long haul.

The Too Good to be True (But Somehow It Really Happened!) Man

The unimaginable, the undefinable, the unattainable? Not quite—this amazing guy is actually out there! Every girl has a different “perfect” man she needs to marry right after meeting him, but that certainly doesn’t mean you won’t find him. While it’s definitely important to actually set realistic expectations (i.e. not a sexy Puerto Rican billionaire with a yacht), that usually doesn’t mean you need to lower them either. Once you find him, you’ll know!

The post The Types of Guys You’ll Meet in the Dating Scene appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/13/the-types-of-guys-youll-meet-in-the-dating-scene/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(609) "

Online dating is definitely fun, but the dating experience itself can surely be a ride! The best part about online dating is all the different types of people you will always meet. Sure enough, the worst part is all the people you will meet—especially if they’re not your type! If you’re not quite sure the […]

The post The Types of Guys You’ll Meet in the Dating Scene appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4939) "

Online dating is definitely fun, but the dating experience itself can surely be a ride! The best part about online dating is all the different types of people you will always meet. Sure enough, the worst part is all the people you will meet—especially if they’re not your type! If you’re not quite sure the type of man you’re searching for online or offline, then this article should definitely at least give you a good point to set your expectations off of. Of course, making the abbreviated list of the types of men you’ll always meet is always easier when you date online and have access to men’s profiles that give out their personality much better than he himself can. So here you can meet all of guys we mentioned and choose yourself. Online dating gets a lot easier if you have the skills and knowledge before you approach potential partners, so we’re going to make your job easier by listing types of men you can meet online and providing instructions on how to deal with them.

The One Who Loves Himself

Unfortunately, some people are just conceited, and while there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, it certainly does pose a big issue when it comes to relationships. After all, if he’s always only paying attention to himself, then who’s going to give his date the attention they certainly deserve? This type of guy is, unfortunately, really only good for casual hookups, so ladies actually looking for a serious relationship will definitely want to avoid him. Fortunately, there’s always an easy way to find out if a potentially great man is actually this type of bad guy! Does he have more than one shirtless photo on his profile? If so, next!

The Funny Guy

It can definitely be easy to quickly write this potential guy off as undateable, but in truth, he probably has a lot more potential than one might actually think! Funny guys can often be some of the kindest souls since they always gain happiness by making other people smile, but if they’re unfortunately unable to keep a lid on the jokes, their appeal definitely might wear off. If he can actually carry a serious conversation, though, he’s probably worth dating. Funny, attractive, & caring? Yes, please!

The One Who Looks Nothing Like His Profile Picture

Ah, the catfish. We won’t speak of what this bad guy actually looks like; rather, we’ll speak of how he does not. If a lady is approached by a random profile that only has one or two photos (of an extremely attractive man!), then the likelihood that his profile pictures don’t match his actual appearance is definitely quite high. While this is always possible to avoid to an extent by using only trusted services with brilliant features it’s unfortunately likely that most singles will run into a catfish once in a while regardless. The best way to actually determine that the person you see is definitely the person you’re talking to? Just ask for a picture!

The One Who is Only Here to Have a Good Time

If an amazing guy quickly starts off the conversation talking about how “hot” a girl is, that’s certainly fairly normal. However, if that’s actually all he ever talks about, chances are, he’s definitely not there for a serious relationship. Of course, ladies can always find out for sure by simply asking him. If he actually only wants to hook up, he’ll certainly be sure to let them know (as long as they’re blunt about it when asking!). However, it’s actually also possible to easily find out by asking him on a date. If the entire time he’s just trying to take you back to his place, he’s probably not in it for the long haul.

The Too Good to be True (But Somehow It Really Happened!) Man

The unimaginable, the undefinable, the unattainable? Not quite—this amazing guy is actually out there! Every girl has a different “perfect” man she needs to marry right after meeting him, but that certainly doesn’t mean you won’t find him. While it’s definitely important to actually set realistic expectations (i.e. not a sexy Puerto Rican billionaire with a yacht), that usually doesn’t mean you need to lower them either. Once you find him, you’ll know!

The post The Types of Guys You’ll Meet in the Dating Scene appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1628851535) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "How Online Dating Affects Divorce Rates" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/10/how-online-dating-affects-divorce-rates/" ["comments"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/10/how-online-dating-affects-divorce-rates/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 10 Aug 2021 14:00:29 +0000" ["category"]=> string(7) "Studies" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8042" ["description"]=> string(578) "

Two decades ago, saying you met your soulmate on a dating website felt strange. Fast forward to 2021 and online dating is how 40% of Americans prefer to date. Indeed, it’s now more relatable to say “we met on Tinder” than to say “we met at a party.” Still, a significant number of people cast […]

The post How Online Dating Affects Divorce Rates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6859) "

Two decades ago, saying you met your soulmate on a dating website felt strange. Fast forward to 2021 and online dating is how 40% of Americans prefer to date. Indeed, it’s now more relatable to say “we met on Tinder” than to say “we met at a party.”

Still, a significant number of people cast doubt about the success of marriages that began with online dating. So, what do statistics show? Do people who met online divorce more often? Or do traditional marriages lead in breakups?

Recent Studies Back Online Dating

Back in 2005, experts from the University of Chicago commenced a study to discover the satisfaction rates of married couples that met online. The study lasted for five years and resulted in some interesting findings.

First, roughly 6% of all marriages between people who met online ended in divorce. However, this was still a small figure compared to the 7% of divorces among couples that met in-person. Additionally, the study showed couples who had met online were more satisfied in their marriages compared to people who had met online.

A second study by the Journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences had similar results. This study interviewed 19,000 couples who got married between 2005 and 2012. Among the 35% of people who met online, only 6% of them ended in divorced compared to 8% for those who met offline.

Apps Encourage Open Communication

When people meet at bars, theaters and workplaces, they take time to communicate about all their wants and expectations from the relationship. Some couples don’t even communicate and only stay together for sex, companionship and friendships.

With online dating, apps and websites help you clarify your interests in a date. Some apps take you through a survey to discover what you want before they even match you with somebody. When their algorithms finally pick a match for you, they select someone with similar expectations.

In light of that information, it’s easy to communicate. You can ask about your date’s willingness to commit for the long-term, something that might sound weird in the first few dates of an offline relationship.

Communication not only helps you avoid the wrong match but it also leads to a more satisfying relationship. You both know what you want. And as such, you work on your relationship for longer.

Faster to Find the One

The number one reason people date is to find the right partner in life. Sometimes this can happen on first sight. But more often than not, people date multiple people over the years before they find their soulmates.

According to studies, online dating can help you find the right person faster. Yes, computer algorithms can help you find a love partner better than doing it on your own. However, all credit doesn’t go to the algorithms.

Whether you find a good match depends on multiple factors. There’s the survey we mentioned earlier and how you communicate with potential soulmates. Then there’s the dating app you use: some of them are geared towards finding temporary dates. Others are more suitable for finding life partners.

Against that backdrop, it’s in your best interest to find the right dating app. Here’s a list of the top five most popular dating apps in the US:

  1. Tinder
  2. Bumble
  3. com
  4. OkCupid
  5. Plenty of Fish

Beyond to the top five, you can also check out niche dating websites. For example, eHarmony and Elite Singles are excellent for people in search of college educated singles. By contrast, Grindy, Surge and Adam4Adam are custom designed for gay singles.

You can be Selective

When you think about it, offline dating doesn’t always provide leeway to be selective. You attend a concert. You check around and spot a beautiful girl. A few minutes later, you compliment her dress, tell her how beautiful she is and ask for her number.

Unfortunately, you don’t get time to ask about where she went to school, her views about politics, the environment and children. With online dating, you can find out a lot about a person just by checking their profiles.

You can discover their educational background, professions, interests, place of origin and so much more. Additionally, you have the opportunity to compare profiles. In fact, you can interact with more than one person in the same period before deciding on who to meet with in person.

Being selective isn’t necessarily a bad thing in dating. Quite the contrary, it helps you meet a person with the best odds of being your match. Think about it. The best way to find something good is to be exhaustive in your research. Online dating similar: you can compare profiles and ask questions until you find the right person.

Your Can Broaden your Geographical Reach

Offline dating is pretty limiting. You have to meet someone to date them. If you’ve lived your entire life in a small town, chances are you will get married to someone from around town. There’s nothing wrong in marrying someone from your local town.

But in many cases, it takes time and a lot of traveling to find a match. Online dating makes things easier by broadening your geographical reach. Let’s say you live in Manhattan but have no problem dating someone from Brooklyn, Queens or the Bronx.

You can configure your dating app to match you with people from all over New York. If you travel around often, you can configure it to match you with people from around the country. This widens the list of people with similar interests and personalities, which can lead to a more successful marriage.

Summary

Online dating might have a reputation for attracting people looking for hook-ups and short-term dating. But multiple studies prove they can also be excellent for finding lifelong partners. The explanation is that dating apps encourage people to be communicative.

Many dating apps collect information from you to discover the type of dating you’re after. They then match you with someone with similar interest. Then, you get a platform to communicate for days or weeks before you can meet in person.

The post How Online Dating Affects Divorce Rates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(83) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/10/how-online-dating-affects-divorce-rates/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(578) "

Two decades ago, saying you met your soulmate on a dating website felt strange. Fast forward to 2021 and online dating is how 40% of Americans prefer to date. Indeed, it’s now more relatable to say “we met on Tinder” than to say “we met at a party.” Still, a significant number of people cast […]

The post How Online Dating Affects Divorce Rates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6859) "

Two decades ago, saying you met your soulmate on a dating website felt strange. Fast forward to 2021 and online dating is how 40% of Americans prefer to date. Indeed, it’s now more relatable to say “we met on Tinder” than to say “we met at a party.”

Still, a significant number of people cast doubt about the success of marriages that began with online dating. So, what do statistics show? Do people who met online divorce more often? Or do traditional marriages lead in breakups?

Recent Studies Back Online Dating

Back in 2005, experts from the University of Chicago commenced a study to discover the satisfaction rates of married couples that met online. The study lasted for five years and resulted in some interesting findings.

First, roughly 6% of all marriages between people who met online ended in divorce. However, this was still a small figure compared to the 7% of divorces among couples that met in-person. Additionally, the study showed couples who had met online were more satisfied in their marriages compared to people who had met online.

A second study by the Journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences had similar results. This study interviewed 19,000 couples who got married between 2005 and 2012. Among the 35% of people who met online, only 6% of them ended in divorced compared to 8% for those who met offline.

Apps Encourage Open Communication

When people meet at bars, theaters and workplaces, they take time to communicate about all their wants and expectations from the relationship. Some couples don’t even communicate and only stay together for sex, companionship and friendships.

With online dating, apps and websites help you clarify your interests in a date. Some apps take you through a survey to discover what you want before they even match you with somebody. When their algorithms finally pick a match for you, they select someone with similar expectations.

In light of that information, it’s easy to communicate. You can ask about your date’s willingness to commit for the long-term, something that might sound weird in the first few dates of an offline relationship.

Communication not only helps you avoid the wrong match but it also leads to a more satisfying relationship. You both know what you want. And as such, you work on your relationship for longer.

Faster to Find the One

The number one reason people date is to find the right partner in life. Sometimes this can happen on first sight. But more often than not, people date multiple people over the years before they find their soulmates.

According to studies, online dating can help you find the right person faster. Yes, computer algorithms can help you find a love partner better than doing it on your own. However, all credit doesn’t go to the algorithms.

Whether you find a good match depends on multiple factors. There’s the survey we mentioned earlier and how you communicate with potential soulmates. Then there’s the dating app you use: some of them are geared towards finding temporary dates. Others are more suitable for finding life partners.

Against that backdrop, it’s in your best interest to find the right dating app. Here’s a list of the top five most popular dating apps in the US:

  1. Tinder
  2. Bumble
  3. com
  4. OkCupid
  5. Plenty of Fish

Beyond to the top five, you can also check out niche dating websites. For example, eHarmony and Elite Singles are excellent for people in search of college educated singles. By contrast, Grindy, Surge and Adam4Adam are custom designed for gay singles.

You can be Selective

When you think about it, offline dating doesn’t always provide leeway to be selective. You attend a concert. You check around and spot a beautiful girl. A few minutes later, you compliment her dress, tell her how beautiful she is and ask for her number.

Unfortunately, you don’t get time to ask about where she went to school, her views about politics, the environment and children. With online dating, you can find out a lot about a person just by checking their profiles.

You can discover their educational background, professions, interests, place of origin and so much more. Additionally, you have the opportunity to compare profiles. In fact, you can interact with more than one person in the same period before deciding on who to meet with in person.

Being selective isn’t necessarily a bad thing in dating. Quite the contrary, it helps you meet a person with the best odds of being your match. Think about it. The best way to find something good is to be exhaustive in your research. Online dating similar: you can compare profiles and ask questions until you find the right person.

Your Can Broaden your Geographical Reach

Offline dating is pretty limiting. You have to meet someone to date them. If you’ve lived your entire life in a small town, chances are you will get married to someone from around town. There’s nothing wrong in marrying someone from your local town.

But in many cases, it takes time and a lot of traveling to find a match. Online dating makes things easier by broadening your geographical reach. Let’s say you live in Manhattan but have no problem dating someone from Brooklyn, Queens or the Bronx.

You can configure your dating app to match you with people from all over New York. If you travel around often, you can configure it to match you with people from around the country. This widens the list of people with similar interests and personalities, which can lead to a more successful marriage.

Summary

Online dating might have a reputation for attracting people looking for hook-ups and short-term dating. But multiple studies prove they can also be excellent for finding lifelong partners. The explanation is that dating apps encourage people to be communicative.

Many dating apps collect information from you to discover the type of dating you’re after. They then match you with someone with similar interest. Then, you get a platform to communicate for days or weeks before you can meet in person.

The post How Online Dating Affects Divorce Rates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1628604029) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(58) "Special Forces – If the Best Of The Best Taught Pick Up!" ["link"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/special-forces-if-the-best-of-the-best-taught-pick-up/" ["comments"]=> string(100) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/special-forces-if-the-best-of-the-best-taught-pick-up/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Aug 2021 15:43:17 +0000" ["category"]=> string(82) "Relationship AdviceApproaching Womenattracting womenattractionbody languagepick up" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8038" ["description"]=> string(609) "

Have you ever felt like you needed to know every possible reaction to every possible scenario when it comes to approaching women and attracting women. Yeah? Well you’re not the only one. It a man thing that we play out the options in our head constantly before taking action. Well, this is a bit of […]

The post Special Forces – If the Best Of The Best Taught Pick Up! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4778) "

Have you ever felt like you needed to know every possible reaction to every possible scenario when it comes to approaching women and attracting women.

Yeah? Well you’re not the only one. It a man thing that we play out the options in our head constantly before taking action.

Well, this is a bit of fun. This is what it would be like when we go out, if we did everything with military precision…

My two wingmen and I were preparing for a special covert mission: Operation Slaptickle.

As the name suggests, this operation involved a night on the town picking up women.

It’s all about having the right gear to survive a night out. Enemy troops (that’s women to you civilians) lurk around ever corner ready to put up resistance. We had every game plan and military tactics personnel could provide (ebooks, Cds, DVDs, all off the internet).

Suddenly my wingman shouted out, “This pick up malarky is bone!” (definition of bone – bollocks, naff, not very good). I think he was losing faith in the effectiveness of our strategy.

“Watch your mouth soldier,” I hollered, “we need everyone 100% ready to meet and attract women tonight.”

“Sorry sarge.” He replied.

I finished briefing the lads. We had spent nearly twelve hours deliberating over things yesterday. You can never be too careful when creating a plan of attack – the enemy is clever and devious. They will employ tactics gained over many years of experince to shoot you down as quick as possible. The way to get around this is to be prepared. As a soldier you can never be too prepared.

We got kitted up: Jeans – check, shirt – check, shoes – check, smellies – check.

Fall into line. This is it. Saddle up. “Stay frosty people” my words ring out over the comms.

Just as we are about to leave, I realise that I have forgotten an integral part of the plan. We have no backup plan for the backup plan.

“Ok soldiers. Before we leave we need to come up with a backup plan for the backup plan.” The men look strangely relieved.

Better get a brew on, it could be another long night of preparation and analysis…

“Sir permission to speak,” my number two pipes up.

“Granted,” I reply.

“Every time we are getting ready to go out we think of something to learn. Would it not be best if we actually went out and attempted a pick up for real?”.

Silence. Only the sound of the kettle boiling nearby. The boy’s got a point…

Learning how to talk to girls should not be that hard. When you approach, meet and attract women it should not need precise military action.

Most guys who learn this stuff and plan every minute detail like a military operation tend to never even get out and try it. This is ‘paralysis by analysis’.

They become so concerned with what might happen and what could be done to avoid it that they never go out and do it.

It’s at this point you realise that there is no substitute to learning to pick up girls than getting out into the real world and trying it for yourself. Yes by all means learn techniques. But once you have some techniques down, go out and try them.

If all you have learned is how to approach a girl, then go out and do so. If you get to a point where you struggle for what to do next then go home and learn the next part.

Many guys have great knowledge of attraction, body language, female psychology, but never go out and try anything. They know what to do at the beginning the middle and even the end of an interaction, but never get anywhere because they don’t ever get to start any interactions.

Others learn little and try it out. Then learn a bit more. The feedback from this experience creates a positive feedback loop where they are compelled to learn and try more.

So get out there and put something you’ve learned to work. And remember: you can’t fail, you can only learn.

The post Special Forces – If the Best Of The Best Taught Pick Up! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(97) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/special-forces-if-the-best-of-the-best-taught-pick-up/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(609) "

Have you ever felt like you needed to know every possible reaction to every possible scenario when it comes to approaching women and attracting women. Yeah? Well you’re not the only one. It a man thing that we play out the options in our head constantly before taking action. Well, this is a bit of […]

The post Special Forces – If the Best Of The Best Taught Pick Up! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4778) "

Have you ever felt like you needed to know every possible reaction to every possible scenario when it comes to approaching women and attracting women.

Yeah? Well you’re not the only one. It a man thing that we play out the options in our head constantly before taking action.

Well, this is a bit of fun. This is what it would be like when we go out, if we did everything with military precision…

My two wingmen and I were preparing for a special covert mission: Operation Slaptickle.

As the name suggests, this operation involved a night on the town picking up women.

It’s all about having the right gear to survive a night out. Enemy troops (that’s women to you civilians) lurk around ever corner ready to put up resistance. We had every game plan and military tactics personnel could provide (ebooks, Cds, DVDs, all off the internet).

Suddenly my wingman shouted out, “This pick up malarky is bone!” (definition of bone – bollocks, naff, not very good). I think he was losing faith in the effectiveness of our strategy.

“Watch your mouth soldier,” I hollered, “we need everyone 100% ready to meet and attract women tonight.”

“Sorry sarge.” He replied.

I finished briefing the lads. We had spent nearly twelve hours deliberating over things yesterday. You can never be too careful when creating a plan of attack – the enemy is clever and devious. They will employ tactics gained over many years of experince to shoot you down as quick as possible. The way to get around this is to be prepared. As a soldier you can never be too prepared.

We got kitted up: Jeans – check, shirt – check, shoes – check, smellies – check.

Fall into line. This is it. Saddle up. “Stay frosty people” my words ring out over the comms.

Just as we are about to leave, I realise that I have forgotten an integral part of the plan. We have no backup plan for the backup plan.

“Ok soldiers. Before we leave we need to come up with a backup plan for the backup plan.” The men look strangely relieved.

Better get a brew on, it could be another long night of preparation and analysis…

“Sir permission to speak,” my number two pipes up.

“Granted,” I reply.

“Every time we are getting ready to go out we think of something to learn. Would it not be best if we actually went out and attempted a pick up for real?”.

Silence. Only the sound of the kettle boiling nearby. The boy’s got a point…

Learning how to talk to girls should not be that hard. When you approach, meet and attract women it should not need precise military action.

Most guys who learn this stuff and plan every minute detail like a military operation tend to never even get out and try it. This is ‘paralysis by analysis’.

They become so concerned with what might happen and what could be done to avoid it that they never go out and do it.

It’s at this point you realise that there is no substitute to learning to pick up girls than getting out into the real world and trying it for yourself. Yes by all means learn techniques. But once you have some techniques down, go out and try them.

If all you have learned is how to approach a girl, then go out and do so. If you get to a point where you struggle for what to do next then go home and learn the next part.

Many guys have great knowledge of attraction, body language, female psychology, but never go out and try anything. They know what to do at the beginning the middle and even the end of an interaction, but never get anywhere because they don’t ever get to start any interactions.

Others learn little and try it out. Then learn a bit more. The feedback from this experience creates a positive feedback loop where they are compelled to learn and try more.

So get out there and put something you’ve learned to work. And remember: you can’t fail, you can only learn.

The post Special Forces – If the Best Of The Best Taught Pick Up! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1628523797) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(46) "How To Get A Girl In Bed With You This Weekend" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/how-to-get-a-girl-in-bed-with-you-this-weekend/" ["comments"]=> string(93) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/how-to-get-a-girl-in-bed-with-you-this-weekend/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Aug 2021 15:28:25 +0000" ["category"]=> string(164) "Love & Sexget girl in bedhow to attract a woman for bedhow to get a girl in bedhow to get a woman in bed with youhow to get a women in bedhow to get any girl in bed" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8034" ["description"]=> string(561) "

It amazes me how many guys just think about how to get a girl in bed with you. That’s all they focus on and that stops them from seeing the bigger picture. The bigger picture being that to get a girl in bed you need to learn how o attract girls. Yes having an end goal […]

The post How To Get A Girl In Bed With You This Weekend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3994) "

It amazes me how many guys just think about how to get a girl in bed with you. That’s all they focus on and that stops them from seeing the bigger picture.

The bigger picture being that to get a girl in bed you need to learn how o attract girls. Yes having an end goal in mind is very important but you need to understand how to achieve said goal. That’s the difference between a goal and a daydream.

Yes, I think about getting women into bed a lot (and maybe you do too – I don’t know 😉 ). However this tends to be a result of having the ultimate goal of being able to generate attraction in women. If you are able to make women feel attracted to you then you are much more likely to pick up women and get them into bed.

What you need to do…

Unless you pay a girl to have sex with you (not really recommended), or you meet a complete sex crazed female (heartily recommended), then you need to put in some ground work. You need to get a girl to like you before you are gonna be able to jump into the sack and get down to the boom-chicka-waa-waa.

Girls are definitely not the same as guys when it comes to sex. Guys want to sleep with as many women as possible. We want to be known as studs who have slept with dozens of women from all over the globe.

Although women love sex (yes they definitely do), they are also more likely to enjoy sex when they feel comfortable around the guy they are sleeping with. The less nervous they feel around whom they are sleeping with the more likely they will enjoy sex.

Another really important aspect is they don’t want to be seen as a slut or easy. Unlike a guys, if a woman sleeps around then she will be outcast for this behaviour and made to feel bad. With all the other stuff that is on their minds they don’t want to add being labelled a slut to the list.

Therefore they need to be more careful with whom they sleep with. If they make the wrong decision then it can be a nightmare for them.

This makes it harder for us as guys to get a girl into bed. Which means that you need to learn how to attract girls and thus make them interested in you enough to want to sleep with you.

Once you have a girl attracted to you, then you need to make sure they feel comfortable around you. Talk to them and get to know them. Also allow them to get to know you so that they realise that you are not the sort of guy who will shag them and then be a dick about it after.

Just so you know, I don’t mean this in a manipulative way. I mean be genuine. Build the attraction and build comfort by actually taking an interest in them. Trust me you will feel a lot better about it if you are not manipulative. If you don’t want a relationship with said girl and also don’t wanna feel manipulative then just tell the truth. Even if it means a chance she may not sleep with you.

There you have it… how to get a girl in bed with you. If handled in the manner described, you will not only have a great chance of success, but you won’t feel like a manipulative jerk. Obviously feel free to disregard the advice about being genuine if you don’t mind being labelled an asshole 🙂

The post How To Get A Girl In Bed With You This Weekend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(90) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/how-to-get-a-girl-in-bed-with-you-this-weekend/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(561) "

It amazes me how many guys just think about how to get a girl in bed with you. That’s all they focus on and that stops them from seeing the bigger picture. The bigger picture being that to get a girl in bed you need to learn how o attract girls. Yes having an end goal […]

The post How To Get A Girl In Bed With You This Weekend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3994) "

It amazes me how many guys just think about how to get a girl in bed with you. That’s all they focus on and that stops them from seeing the bigger picture.

The bigger picture being that to get a girl in bed you need to learn how o attract girls. Yes having an end goal in mind is very important but you need to understand how to achieve said goal. That’s the difference between a goal and a daydream.

Yes, I think about getting women into bed a lot (and maybe you do too – I don’t know 😉 ). However this tends to be a result of having the ultimate goal of being able to generate attraction in women. If you are able to make women feel attracted to you then you are much more likely to pick up women and get them into bed.

What you need to do…

Unless you pay a girl to have sex with you (not really recommended), or you meet a complete sex crazed female (heartily recommended), then you need to put in some ground work. You need to get a girl to like you before you are gonna be able to jump into the sack and get down to the boom-chicka-waa-waa.

Girls are definitely not the same as guys when it comes to sex. Guys want to sleep with as many women as possible. We want to be known as studs who have slept with dozens of women from all over the globe.

Although women love sex (yes they definitely do), they are also more likely to enjoy sex when they feel comfortable around the guy they are sleeping with. The less nervous they feel around whom they are sleeping with the more likely they will enjoy sex.

Another really important aspect is they don’t want to be seen as a slut or easy. Unlike a guys, if a woman sleeps around then she will be outcast for this behaviour and made to feel bad. With all the other stuff that is on their minds they don’t want to add being labelled a slut to the list.

Therefore they need to be more careful with whom they sleep with. If they make the wrong decision then it can be a nightmare for them.

This makes it harder for us as guys to get a girl into bed. Which means that you need to learn how to attract girls and thus make them interested in you enough to want to sleep with you.

Once you have a girl attracted to you, then you need to make sure they feel comfortable around you. Talk to them and get to know them. Also allow them to get to know you so that they realise that you are not the sort of guy who will shag them and then be a dick about it after.

Just so you know, I don’t mean this in a manipulative way. I mean be genuine. Build the attraction and build comfort by actually taking an interest in them. Trust me you will feel a lot better about it if you are not manipulative. If you don’t want a relationship with said girl and also don’t wanna feel manipulative then just tell the truth. Even if it means a chance she may not sleep with you.

There you have it… how to get a girl in bed with you. If handled in the manner described, you will not only have a great chance of success, but you won’t feel like a manipulative jerk. Obviously feel free to disregard the advice about being genuine if you don’t mind being labelled an asshole 🙂

The post How To Get A Girl In Bed With You This Weekend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1628522905) } [8]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(31) "Emotional Intelligence Skillset" ["link"]=> string(70) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/emotional-intelligence-skillset/" ["comments"]=> string(78) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/emotional-intelligence-skillset/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Aug 2021 14:58:53 +0000" ["category"]=> string(258) "InterestingPersonal Growthaspects of emotional intelligencecomponent of emotional intelligencecomponents of emotional intelligenceemotional intelligence skillseq skillssocial emotional intelligencetypes of emotional intelligencewhat is emotional intelligence" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8025" ["description"]=> string(599) "

You see this phrase banded about all over the place these days – emotional intelligence. Lots of people seem to use it, but few really know what it means, or how to be ‘emotionally intelligent’ themselves. That’s what we’re going to cover today. You may have seen the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman in your local […]

The post Emotional Intelligence Skillset appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9566) "
You see this phrase banded about all over the place these days – emotional intelligence. Lots of people seem to use it, but few really know what it means, or how to be ‘emotionally intelligent’ themselves. That’s what we’re going to cover today.

You may have seen the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman in your local bookstore. This was the book that made the term popular. It is fascinating, and transformational. It’s one of those books that, once you’ve read it, you’ll never see the world the same again. You’ll see things in people’s behaviours you were barely aware of before. You’ll just understand the world, people and their actions a hell of a lot better.

Not only that, but if you take on board what the book discusses, and put it to use, you will have a seriously powerful, life-altering, skill set that can never be taken away from you.

You see, a lot of emphasis is often put on the ‘understanding’ part of the Emotional Intelligence skill set, but that is only one part of the whole picture.

Emotional Intelligence is really a collective term or a group of associated skills that we are all, to some extent, naturally able to do. And with conscious training, all able to achieve an excellent competency in.

The skills are usually broken down as follows:

  1. Perceiving
  2. Using
  3. Understanding
  4. Managing

1. Perceiving – Noticing emotions

The skill of perception is the skill of observing what is happening in a person, in terms of their emotions, and recognising the various emotional states a person, or people, are exhibiting.

Someone seems irritable; they snap easily; and are rushing around. What emotion do you think they are feeling? Could it be that they are stressed out?

Your friend comes over to your home. You greet them warmly, they reply in monotone. Their shoulders are slumped and they don’t seem in any hurry to move their body. When asked questions, they seem distant and give one or two word answers. Are they possible a bit depressed?

This is the skill of recognising emotions.

2. Using – Harness your emotions

This is the skill of using your emotions to get what you want out of yourself. It is the skill of utilising your fluctuating moods to get the most out of yourself.

The rockstar that gets pumped up emotionally and delivers a world-class performance. The athlete who focuses intently before the big event. The engineer who approaches each problem encountered as an opportunity to exercise their creativity and ingenuity.

These are all examples of using your emotions to help you achieve what you want in life.

3. Understanding emotions

This is the sill of being able to understand and explain emotions, and their sometimes subtle relationship and interaction with each other.

Is a friend of yours acting odd? What are they going through in their life right now? Maybe they just lost their job and feel the pressure of financial obligations. They suddenly start playing a huge amount of World of Warcraft. They obviously love the game. But why the unhealthy compulsion to play? Could it be that they are really just hiding away from life and their responsibilities? Maybe their fear is compelling them to play a video game.

4. Managing your mental state

This is one of the most powerful of the four emotional intelligence skills. The ability to influence your own emotions, and to choose how you feel.

Most people go through life not even realising that this is possible. They think that emotions are things that ‘happen to you’, rather than things that are potentially under your control.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yes, if left completely unchecked, your emotional wellbeing will be almost completely in the hands of your biological hardwiring (your genetic predisposition) and your environment. Bad news will make you feel bad; and you may have a tendency to dwell on these negative feelings, just by your very nature.

But, it doesn’t have to be this way. We are all capable of proactively influencing our own emotional states.

Imagine this: tomorrow, for whatever reason, you wake up in a ‘bad mood’. Now, you have a choice: you can either let that fact control your day, influencing your actions and interactions with the people around you, or you can grab the bull by the horns and say to yourself, ‘No thanks, today I’d rather be in a good mood to be honest.’

So you picture some of your goals, your aspirations. You remember the three best things that have happened to your this year. You think about the people in your life that matter to you, who love you. You think about what you have, and what you are grateful for. Eventually (and it doesn’t happen immediately), after maybe half an hour or so, you’ll start to notice a shift in your emotional state.

You will have pulled yourself out of the funk. A bad day turned into a good day through your own actions. And all it took was a few easily-done visualisation techniques. Easy.

As Tony Robbins often says (and he probably got it from someone else), “Your mind is like a garden; the weeds come for free. It takes conscious effort to cultivate a beautiful landscape. You have to weed, plant seeds and prepare the ground.”

If you haven’t ever read any Tony Robbins, I recommend you check him out. Even if you have some preconceived notions about him. Give it a chance, take from it what is useful to you personally, and discard the rest. A great place to start is: Awaken the Giant Within.

It contains many exercises for getting a hold on your life and your emotional well-being. It’s another one of those ‘life changer’ books that sound so cliche to say, “It changed my life… bla bla.” I say just do the exercises and see how things change for you.

In conclusion

Hopefully you’ve learned what it really means to have emotional intelligence, and this article has inspired you to do a bit of further investigation into the subject of your emotions, and the emotions of others. When it comes to meeting women, emotions are of key importance. You have to see yourself as an ‘emotional facilitator’ that guides her through certain key emotions such as attraction, interest, intrigue, attraction, lust, frustration, wanton desire.

Through the power of emotional intelligence, you can learn to not only control your emotional states, and get the most out of yourself, but also to recognise and influence the emotions of others, which enables you to influence their behaviour and actions.

The post Emotional Intelligence Skillset appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(75) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/09/emotional-intelligence-skillset/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(599) "

You see this phrase banded about all over the place these days – emotional intelligence. Lots of people seem to use it, but few really know what it means, or how to be ‘emotionally intelligent’ themselves. That’s what we’re going to cover today. You may have seen the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman in your local […]

The post Emotional Intelligence Skillset appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(9566) "
You see this phrase banded about all over the place these days – emotional intelligence. Lots of people seem to use it, but few really know what it means, or how to be ‘emotionally intelligent’ themselves. That’s what we’re going to cover today.

You may have seen the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman in your local bookstore. This was the book that made the term popular. It is fascinating, and transformational. It’s one of those books that, once you’ve read it, you’ll never see the world the same again. You’ll see things in people’s behaviours you were barely aware of before. You’ll just understand the world, people and their actions a hell of a lot better.

Not only that, but if you take on board what the book discusses, and put it to use, you will have a seriously powerful, life-altering, skill set that can never be taken away from you.

You see, a lot of emphasis is often put on the ‘understanding’ part of the Emotional Intelligence skill set, but that is only one part of the whole picture.

Emotional Intelligence is really a collective term or a group of associated skills that we are all, to some extent, naturally able to do. And with conscious training, all able to achieve an excellent competency in.

The skills are usually broken down as follows:

  1. Perceiving
  2. Using
  3. Understanding
  4. Managing

1. Perceiving – Noticing emotions

The skill of perception is the skill of observing what is happening in a person, in terms of their emotions, and recognising the various emotional states a person, or people, are exhibiting.

Someone seems irritable; they snap easily; and are rushing around. What emotion do you think they are feeling? Could it be that they are stressed out?

Your friend comes over to your home. You greet them warmly, they reply in monotone. Their shoulders are slumped and they don’t seem in any hurry to move their body. When asked questions, they seem distant and give one or two word answers. Are they possible a bit depressed?

This is the skill of recognising emotions.

2. Using – Harness your emotions

This is the skill of using your emotions to get what you want out of yourself. It is the skill of utilising your fluctuating moods to get the most out of yourself.

The rockstar that gets pumped up emotionally and delivers a world-class performance. The athlete who focuses intently before the big event. The engineer who approaches each problem encountered as an opportunity to exercise their creativity and ingenuity.

These are all examples of using your emotions to help you achieve what you want in life.

3. Understanding emotions

This is the sill of being able to understand and explain emotions, and their sometimes subtle relationship and interaction with each other.

Is a friend of yours acting odd? What are they going through in their life right now? Maybe they just lost their job and feel the pressure of financial obligations. They suddenly start playing a huge amount of World of Warcraft. They obviously love the game. But why the unhealthy compulsion to play? Could it be that they are really just hiding away from life and their responsibilities? Maybe their fear is compelling them to play a video game.

4. Managing your mental state

This is one of the most powerful of the four emotional intelligence skills. The ability to influence your own emotions, and to choose how you feel.

Most people go through life not even realising that this is possible. They think that emotions are things that ‘happen to you’, rather than things that are potentially under your control.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yes, if left completely unchecked, your emotional wellbeing will be almost completely in the hands of your biological hardwiring (your genetic predisposition) and your environment. Bad news will make you feel bad; and you may have a tendency to dwell on these negative feelings, just by your very nature.

But, it doesn’t have to be this way. We are all capable of proactively influencing our own emotional states.

Imagine this: tomorrow, for whatever reason, you wake up in a ‘bad mood’. Now, you have a choice: you can either let that fact control your day, influencing your actions and interactions with the people around you, or you can grab the bull by the horns and say to yourself, ‘No thanks, today I’d rather be in a good mood to be honest.’

So you picture some of your goals, your aspirations. You remember the three best things that have happened to your this year. You think about the people in your life that matter to you, who love you. You think about what you have, and what you are grateful for. Eventually (and it doesn’t happen immediately), after maybe half an hour or so, you’ll start to notice a shift in your emotional state.

You will have pulled yourself out of the funk. A bad day turned into a good day through your own actions. And all it took was a few easily-done visualisation techniques. Easy.

As Tony Robbins often says (and he probably got it from someone else), “Your mind is like a garden; the weeds come for free. It takes conscious effort to cultivate a beautiful landscape. You have to weed, plant seeds and prepare the ground.”

If you haven’t ever read any Tony Robbins, I recommend you check him out. Even if you have some preconceived notions about him. Give it a chance, take from it what is useful to you personally, and discard the rest. A great place to start is: Awaken the Giant Within.

It contains many exercises for getting a hold on your life and your emotional well-being. It’s another one of those ‘life changer’ books that sound so cliche to say, “It changed my life… bla bla.” I say just do the exercises and see how things change for you.

In conclusion

Hopefully you’ve learned what it really means to have emotional intelligence, and this article has inspired you to do a bit of further investigation into the subject of your emotions, and the emotions of others. When it comes to meeting women, emotions are of key importance. You have to see yourself as an ‘emotional facilitator’ that guides her through certain key emotions such as attraction, interest, intrigue, attraction, lust, frustration, wanton desire.

Through the power of emotional intelligence, you can learn to not only control your emotional states, and get the most out of yourself, but also to recognise and influence the emotions of others, which enables you to influence their behaviour and actions.

The post Emotional Intelligence Skillset appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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If you can ask good questions, you can have anything you want in life. Bold claim isn’t it? But what if I told you that every monumental success started with a powerful question. How can we get men to the moon? How can I win Olympic gold? How can I date a playboy model? Stop for […]

The post The Power of Questions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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If you can ask good questions, you can have anything you want in life.

Bold claim isn’t it? But what if I told you that every monumental success started with a powerful question.

Stop for a second and ask yourself the following: What am I awesome at?

Did you notice that? Without even trying, you were able to come up with something. No matter what it was, the point is that just by asking, your mind presented you with an answer. All on autopilot.

And herein lies the power of asking the right questions…

Ask, and your mind will deliver.

How to ask great questions

Think of something you want in life. Maybe it is to be able to approach and attract women? Ok, good. Now we are going to formalise that goal into a question that will propel you towards it…

First attempt: “How can I stop being so shy, and talk to women?”

Well, it’s a start. There’s much that needs improving though. First of all, we want to focus our question on what we want to achieve. Imagine if JFK had said, “We’re going to send men to the moon, and not have the rocket explode on the way.” The focus is all wrong. Concentrate on the outcome (getting to the moon), and the details (a rocket that doesn’t spontaneously explode) take care of themselves. Let’s try this with our question.

Second attempt: “How can I approach and attract women?”

Ok great, now we’re getting there. Our question is positive and sounding good. There’s more though. We can supercharge things and have some fun with it. First of all, remember your mind will answer whatever question you give it. So while we’re asking how to approach women, why don’t we ask for the easiest way to do it?

Third version: “What’s the easiest way for me to approach and attract women?”

Ok, that is looking good. One final thing we can do is clarify exactly what we want. In our case, it’s not just any woman, it’s the girl of your dreams (whatever that might be). So, taking this on board, let’s see what we come up with…

Final version: “What’s the easiest way for me to approach and attract gorgeous, big-boobed, intelligent, emo, cheerleader, star-wars-loving, women.”

Boom, that’s exactly what I want.

Hopefully you’ve seen the power of questions in our little example, and how you can apply them to really make a difference in your life, and when dealing with the opposite sex especially.

The post The Power of Questions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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If you can ask good questions, you can have anything you want in life. Bold claim isn’t it? But what if I told you that every monumental success started with a powerful question. How can we get men to the moon? How can I win Olympic gold? How can I date a playboy model? Stop for […]

The post The Power of Questions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3280) "

If you can ask good questions, you can have anything you want in life.

Bold claim isn’t it? But what if I told you that every monumental success started with a powerful question.

Stop for a second and ask yourself the following: What am I awesome at?

Did you notice that? Without even trying, you were able to come up with something. No matter what it was, the point is that just by asking, your mind presented you with an answer. All on autopilot.

And herein lies the power of asking the right questions…

Ask, and your mind will deliver.

How to ask great questions

Think of something you want in life. Maybe it is to be able to approach and attract women? Ok, good. Now we are going to formalise that goal into a question that will propel you towards it…

First attempt: “How can I stop being so shy, and talk to women?”

Well, it’s a start. There’s much that needs improving though. First of all, we want to focus our question on what we want to achieve. Imagine if JFK had said, “We’re going to send men to the moon, and not have the rocket explode on the way.” The focus is all wrong. Concentrate on the outcome (getting to the moon), and the details (a rocket that doesn’t spontaneously explode) take care of themselves. Let’s try this with our question.

Second attempt: “How can I approach and attract women?”

Ok great, now we’re getting there. Our question is positive and sounding good. There’s more though. We can supercharge things and have some fun with it. First of all, remember your mind will answer whatever question you give it. So while we’re asking how to approach women, why don’t we ask for the easiest way to do it?

Third version: “What’s the easiest way for me to approach and attract women?”

Ok, that is looking good. One final thing we can do is clarify exactly what we want. In our case, it’s not just any woman, it’s the girl of your dreams (whatever that might be). So, taking this on board, let’s see what we come up with…

Final version: “What’s the easiest way for me to approach and attract gorgeous, big-boobed, intelligent, emo, cheerleader, star-wars-loving, women.”

Boom, that’s exactly what I want.

Hopefully you’ve seen the power of questions in our little example, and how you can apply them to really make a difference in your life, and when dealing with the opposite sex especially.

The post The Power of Questions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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