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      string(82) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/12/5-tips-on-how-to-maintain-a-strong-marriage/"
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Below are 5 useful and practical tips on how to keep the flame burning in a marriage. Commit to Loving Your Partner Unlike the fairy tale romances displayed on the television, movies and novels, love at its core is a decision that a person makes to be committed to another person. Feelings usually come and […]

The post 5 Tips On How To Maintain A Strong Marriage appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4319) "

Below are 5 useful and practical tips on how to keep the flame burning in a marriage.

Commit to Loving Your Partner

Unlike the fairy tale romances displayed on the television, movies and novels, love at its core is a decision that a person makes to be committed to another person. Feelings usually come and go but if a decision is made to commit, then it lasts through the eternity of time. This commitment is what forms the bedrock of a healthy marriage.

Marriage involves a commitment between two people to stick by each other’s side through hills and valleys and through good and bad moments. When everything in life is rosy, commitment is easy. However, true love is displayed when the bond of commitment remains strong when you are going through tough times. Marriage is hard but worth it.

Stay Sexually Faithful

In marriage, sexual faithfulness is more than just physical intimacy. Sexual faithfulness includes staying loyal in thoughts, what you see, the heart and the soul. When a person has sexual fantasies, they are being sexually unfaithful to their spouse. Even when offering emotional intimacy to another person, you are usually sacrificing sexual faithfulness to your spouse.

To keep your marriage strong, you should guard your sexuality and only devote yourself to your partner. To be sexually faithful, you have to be disciplined and aware of the consequences if you are not faithful to your spouse. It is important to avoid doing anything that can compromise your sexual faithfulness to your partner.

Practice Humility

We are human and as such we have weaknesses. Nothing brings our weaknesses to the fore more than a relationship. One of the best ways to sustain a strong and healthy marriage is to accept that you are not perfect, you may make mistakes and that you will need forgiveness from your spouse. If you display superiority over your spouse, disagreements and resentment will crop up in your relationship with your spouse hence hindering the development of your relationship.

If you have trouble exercising humility, you should take a pen and enumerate three things that your partner does better than you. This will help you in appreciating their strengths and staying humble.

Be Patient and Forgive Your Partner

As discussed above, no one is perfect. As such, a marriage requires a lot of patience and forgiveness. Partners who have successful marriages usually show a lot of patience when their spouses display shortcomings and they are always ready to forgive. In successful marriages, spouses admit that they have their own faults and do not each other to be perfect. Past errors are not usually dredged up so as to hold each other hostage for past mistakes.

When mistakes occur, partners in a good marriage do all they can to make amends and avoid revenge.  Forgiveness sets the heart free and helps a relationship develop and become stronger.

 

  1. Invest Time in The Marriage

 

No marriage can work if the partners are unwilling to invest time in growing their relationship. Successful marriages usually require that two people choose to intentionally spend quality time together. Remember that you cannot have quality time without spending a lot of time with your partner.

 

The relationship with your spouse should be the deepest and most intimate relationship you are engaged in. As such, you should dedicate most of time to the marriage. Ideally, you should set aside some time in your day to be with your partner. Once in a while, you should consider having fun activities together such as date night.

The post 5 Tips On How To Maintain A Strong Marriage appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(590) "

Below are 5 useful and practical tips on how to keep the flame burning in a marriage. Commit to Loving Your Partner Unlike the fairy tale romances displayed on the television, movies and novels, love at its core is a decision that a person makes to be committed to another person. Feelings usually come and […]

The post 5 Tips On How To Maintain A Strong Marriage appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4319) "

Below are 5 useful and practical tips on how to keep the flame burning in a marriage.

Commit to Loving Your Partner

Unlike the fairy tale romances displayed on the television, movies and novels, love at its core is a decision that a person makes to be committed to another person. Feelings usually come and go but if a decision is made to commit, then it lasts through the eternity of time. This commitment is what forms the bedrock of a healthy marriage.

Marriage involves a commitment between two people to stick by each other’s side through hills and valleys and through good and bad moments. When everything in life is rosy, commitment is easy. However, true love is displayed when the bond of commitment remains strong when you are going through tough times. Marriage is hard but worth it.

Stay Sexually Faithful

In marriage, sexual faithfulness is more than just physical intimacy. Sexual faithfulness includes staying loyal in thoughts, what you see, the heart and the soul. When a person has sexual fantasies, they are being sexually unfaithful to their spouse. Even when offering emotional intimacy to another person, you are usually sacrificing sexual faithfulness to your spouse.

To keep your marriage strong, you should guard your sexuality and only devote yourself to your partner. To be sexually faithful, you have to be disciplined and aware of the consequences if you are not faithful to your spouse. It is important to avoid doing anything that can compromise your sexual faithfulness to your partner.

Practice Humility

We are human and as such we have weaknesses. Nothing brings our weaknesses to the fore more than a relationship. One of the best ways to sustain a strong and healthy marriage is to accept that you are not perfect, you may make mistakes and that you will need forgiveness from your spouse. If you display superiority over your spouse, disagreements and resentment will crop up in your relationship with your spouse hence hindering the development of your relationship.

If you have trouble exercising humility, you should take a pen and enumerate three things that your partner does better than you. This will help you in appreciating their strengths and staying humble.

Be Patient and Forgive Your Partner

As discussed above, no one is perfect. As such, a marriage requires a lot of patience and forgiveness. Partners who have successful marriages usually show a lot of patience when their spouses display shortcomings and they are always ready to forgive. In successful marriages, spouses admit that they have their own faults and do not each other to be perfect. Past errors are not usually dredged up so as to hold each other hostage for past mistakes.

When mistakes occur, partners in a good marriage do all they can to make amends and avoid revenge.  Forgiveness sets the heart free and helps a relationship develop and become stronger.

 

  1. Invest Time in The Marriage

 

No marriage can work if the partners are unwilling to invest time in growing their relationship. Successful marriages usually require that two people choose to intentionally spend quality time together. Remember that you cannot have quality time without spending a lot of time with your partner.

 

The relationship with your spouse should be the deepest and most intimate relationship you are engaged in. As such, you should dedicate most of time to the marriage. Ideally, you should set aside some time in your day to be with your partner. Once in a while, you should consider having fun activities together such as date night.

The post 5 Tips On How To Maintain A Strong Marriage appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1576155236) } [1]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(16) "The Power of Yes" ["link"]=> string(55) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/11/the-power-of-yes/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 11 Dec 2019 18:01:31 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(51) "Personal Growthadviceconfidencegoalshow tolifestyle" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3816" ["description"]=> string(555) "

Bailing on a night out with your friends because you’d prefer to stay curled up on the sofa watching the Netflix. Unexpectedly meeting an old friend somewhere and saying “We absolutely must meet up properly, it’s been too long!”, yet knowing full well you’ll never call. Deciding not to go to the cinema because the […]

The post The Power of Yes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6288) "

Bailing on a night out with your friends because you’d prefer to stay curled up on the sofa watching the Netflix. Unexpectedly meeting an old friend somewhere and saying “We absolutely must meet up properly, it’s been too long!”, yet knowing full well you’ll never call. Deciding not to go to the cinema because the weather outside is a bit rubbish, even though it is the perfect place to go when it’s raining and you’ll probably drive there so you’ll only actually be exposed to the elements for approximately ninety seconds.

Sound familiar?

Yep, thought so. That’s because we’ve all been there.

What is it about the word “no” that allows it to easily roll off the tongue? Why do we let our lives so effortlessly slip into a cozy rut of routine? Because it’s easier than making a damn effort, that’s why.

I was all about “no” until my life changed quite dramatically in January of this year. I suddenly found myself to be completely lost, surrounded by closed doors from all of the times I’d bailed on friends or decided just to stay in and be comfortable. I had no choice but to start over again—to bring some “yes” into my life and rebuild everything that I had let slip away. It has been a complete revelation and undoubtedly contributed to my feelings of self-worth, confidence and increasing strength over recent months. The power of one little word! Here’s how you can use “yes” to your advantage and enrich your life in the process.

Socialize

Believe me, I know how easy it is to become a complete flake when it comes to socializing. You start becoming a hermit and, suddenly, an impromptu invitation for a night out at the pub seems tantamount to climbing Kilimanjaro as the thought of removing your oh-so-soft sweat pants sends alarm bells blaring in your head. If I can be frank with you for a moment, when the decision of whether to go out or not is based on what television show you might miss, you need to reevaluate your priorities. Cast aside those pajamas, put down the mug of tea, back away from the blanket and step out into the world. Those friends you haven’t seen in two years? Call them. That invite for a night out with some people you don’t know that well? Just go for it. That push to do something spontaneous and maybe a bit crazy could turn into just the adventure you need to spice up your life.

Benefits of getting social:

You’ll generate a wider social circle; there’s always someone to hang out with; you partake in fun activities and best of all—it means no more boring nights in, tons of photographs and memories you’ll cherish forever.

The not-so-down sides of getting social:

Split sides from laughing too hard; no time to sleep because you’re too busy having fun; you can’t keep on top of your texts and social networks because everyone wants to get in touch.

Become Career Savvy

Unfortunately, we aren’t all lucky enough to have a job that we love going to every day. When you wake up on Monday morning feeling like you’ve been in a fight with a heavy goods vehicle, it can be pretty difficult to find the motivation to roll out of bed. However, donning a pair of googly eyes atop your eyelids so that you can secretly nap throughout the day isn’t the answer. Instead, take a bucket load of “yes” to work.

“Yes boss, I will help you with that computer issue you’ve asked me to solve a bazillion times already.” (Cue plastered on smile.)

“Yes, I am deserving of a raise and yes, I am daring enough to ask for it.” (Cue power suit and confident strut.)

“Yes, I will fill my day with productivity instead of lounging off at the first opportunity.” (Cue serious efficiency face.)

“Yes, I will work my ass off for that promotion because even if I don’t get it, I haven’t lost anything.” (Cue Aretha Franklin music).

Saying “yes” will make you the star of the office.

Benefits of getting career savvy:

You might find yourself with that promotion; your colleagues will love you; your boss will be impressed; the days will fly by instead of dragging on and on and on; people may bring cake to work on your birthday.

The not-so-down sides of getting career savvy:

Having to boss around previous colleagues when you get a promotion (hurrah for revenge on nasty Keith from accounting); blowing your raise on a new wardrobe; being so efficient that everyone comes to you for help.

Find Someone to Love You

If you’re thinking that this section doesn’t apply to you because you’re already in a long-term relationship then get your ass back here, missy. If the closest you’ve recently been to butterflies in your belly is the time when you accidentally ate a caterpillar in your salad, then there’s definitely room for more “yes” in your love life. Goodness me, I know how difficult it is to keep that fire burning when your loved one has seen you watching daytime television in your sweat pants, spooning peanut butter straight from the jar, or held your hair back whilst you continuously vomited from the stomach flu you caught on holiday. Those aren’t easy images to forget. That’s why “yes” is so important. Say yes to booking a spontaneous holiday; say yes to buying each other little presents every now and then; say yes to trying out a new sex position; say yes to date night; say yes to making an effort every day to better your relationship.

Benefits of getting loved up:

Isn’t it obvious? Better relationship = better sex. Simple.

The not-so-down sides of getting loved up:

All of your friends hate you for bagging such an amazing relationship; uncontrollable air of glee at all times; chafing (ahem).

The post The Power of Yes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(555) "

Bailing on a night out with your friends because you’d prefer to stay curled up on the sofa watching the Netflix. Unexpectedly meeting an old friend somewhere and saying “We absolutely must meet up properly, it’s been too long!”, yet knowing full well you’ll never call. Deciding not to go to the cinema because the […]

The post The Power of Yes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6288) "

Bailing on a night out with your friends because you’d prefer to stay curled up on the sofa watching the Netflix. Unexpectedly meeting an old friend somewhere and saying “We absolutely must meet up properly, it’s been too long!”, yet knowing full well you’ll never call. Deciding not to go to the cinema because the weather outside is a bit rubbish, even though it is the perfect place to go when it’s raining and you’ll probably drive there so you’ll only actually be exposed to the elements for approximately ninety seconds.

Sound familiar?

Yep, thought so. That’s because we’ve all been there.

What is it about the word “no” that allows it to easily roll off the tongue? Why do we let our lives so effortlessly slip into a cozy rut of routine? Because it’s easier than making a damn effort, that’s why.

I was all about “no” until my life changed quite dramatically in January of this year. I suddenly found myself to be completely lost, surrounded by closed doors from all of the times I’d bailed on friends or decided just to stay in and be comfortable. I had no choice but to start over again—to bring some “yes” into my life and rebuild everything that I had let slip away. It has been a complete revelation and undoubtedly contributed to my feelings of self-worth, confidence and increasing strength over recent months. The power of one little word! Here’s how you can use “yes” to your advantage and enrich your life in the process.

Socialize

Believe me, I know how easy it is to become a complete flake when it comes to socializing. You start becoming a hermit and, suddenly, an impromptu invitation for a night out at the pub seems tantamount to climbing Kilimanjaro as the thought of removing your oh-so-soft sweat pants sends alarm bells blaring in your head. If I can be frank with you for a moment, when the decision of whether to go out or not is based on what television show you might miss, you need to reevaluate your priorities. Cast aside those pajamas, put down the mug of tea, back away from the blanket and step out into the world. Those friends you haven’t seen in two years? Call them. That invite for a night out with some people you don’t know that well? Just go for it. That push to do something spontaneous and maybe a bit crazy could turn into just the adventure you need to spice up your life.

Benefits of getting social:

You’ll generate a wider social circle; there’s always someone to hang out with; you partake in fun activities and best of all—it means no more boring nights in, tons of photographs and memories you’ll cherish forever.

The not-so-down sides of getting social:

Split sides from laughing too hard; no time to sleep because you’re too busy having fun; you can’t keep on top of your texts and social networks because everyone wants to get in touch.

Become Career Savvy

Unfortunately, we aren’t all lucky enough to have a job that we love going to every day. When you wake up on Monday morning feeling like you’ve been in a fight with a heavy goods vehicle, it can be pretty difficult to find the motivation to roll out of bed. However, donning a pair of googly eyes atop your eyelids so that you can secretly nap throughout the day isn’t the answer. Instead, take a bucket load of “yes” to work.

“Yes boss, I will help you with that computer issue you’ve asked me to solve a bazillion times already.” (Cue plastered on smile.)

“Yes, I am deserving of a raise and yes, I am daring enough to ask for it.” (Cue power suit and confident strut.)

“Yes, I will fill my day with productivity instead of lounging off at the first opportunity.” (Cue serious efficiency face.)

“Yes, I will work my ass off for that promotion because even if I don’t get it, I haven’t lost anything.” (Cue Aretha Franklin music).

Saying “yes” will make you the star of the office.

Benefits of getting career savvy:

You might find yourself with that promotion; your colleagues will love you; your boss will be impressed; the days will fly by instead of dragging on and on and on; people may bring cake to work on your birthday.

The not-so-down sides of getting career savvy:

Having to boss around previous colleagues when you get a promotion (hurrah for revenge on nasty Keith from accounting); blowing your raise on a new wardrobe; being so efficient that everyone comes to you for help.

Find Someone to Love You

If you’re thinking that this section doesn’t apply to you because you’re already in a long-term relationship then get your ass back here, missy. If the closest you’ve recently been to butterflies in your belly is the time when you accidentally ate a caterpillar in your salad, then there’s definitely room for more “yes” in your love life. Goodness me, I know how difficult it is to keep that fire burning when your loved one has seen you watching daytime television in your sweat pants, spooning peanut butter straight from the jar, or held your hair back whilst you continuously vomited from the stomach flu you caught on holiday. Those aren’t easy images to forget. That’s why “yes” is so important. Say yes to booking a spontaneous holiday; say yes to buying each other little presents every now and then; say yes to trying out a new sex position; say yes to date night; say yes to making an effort every day to better your relationship.

Benefits of getting loved up:

Isn’t it obvious? Better relationship = better sex. Simple.

The not-so-down sides of getting loved up:

All of your friends hate you for bagging such an amazing relationship; uncontrollable air of glee at all times; chafing (ahem).

The post The Power of Yes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1576087291) } [2]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(74) "Dos and Don’ts in Navigating the Dating World in the Age of Social Media" ["link"]=> string(110) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/10/dos-and-donts-in-navigating-the-dating-world-in-the-age-of-social-media/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 10 Dec 2019 15:10:33 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(55) "Dating Advicedatingrelationshipssocial lifesocial media" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3812" ["description"]=> string(662) "

Social media has an undeniable impact on almost every aspect of our daily lives. From how we connect to people and even finding relationships, these platforms have changed the rules and continue to shape human interactions in new and exciting ways. Our focus in this article is the role of social media in dating. While […]

The post Dos and Don’ts in Navigating the Dating World in the Age of Social Media appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4004) "

Social media has an undeniable impact on almost every aspect of our daily lives. From how we connect to people and even finding relationships, these platforms have changed the rules and continue to shape human interactions in new and exciting ways. Our focus in this article is the role of social media in dating. While there are no hard and fast guidelines to achieve success, there are some universally accepted dos and don’ts. Understanding what you should and should not do will not only increase your chances of finding a potential partner but also avoid unpleasant encounters.

Drawing the line between serious and casual relationships

Now, it is essential to keep in mind that not every person who is actively dating is eager for something serious. Some are searching for fun where the main objective is to meet and enjoy each other’s company. In most of these encounters, social media serves as a tool which supports dating platforms.

For casual relationships and flirty dating, you should begin by making sure that you are using the right dating application or service. Ashley Madison used to be the top service in this type of online dating, but have since become an industry pariah due to some controversies. If you are looking for an Ashley Madison alternative, there are plenty of options available where you get the highest level of privacy. These platforms have also improved upon their matchmaking system, and with millions of active users, you will surely connect with like-minded individuals who are also looking for fun and excitement.

Once you have chosen the right dating service, you can now begin expanding your connections with the people you meet through social media. With that, here are the things you should avoid, and the things you should do to use social media to your advantage.

Stay true to yourself

Social media channels like Instagram and Facebook tend to show only the best side of a person. To a certain extent, it is alright to put your best foot forward. But, you also need to let your personality shine through. Avoid filtering your photos too much, and try to post real moments in your daily life.

Social media stalking is a no go

Sometimes when you are browsing an online dating profile, you get tempted to search for the person’s social media account and stalk them. It is acceptable to look a person up online, but do not get to the point where you are continually stalking their social media accounts.

Do use social media to stay connected

If you are interested in a person you met through a dating platform, you can use social media to keep in touch. Using different applications to send messages and emails is acceptable as long as the other person consents.

Respect each other’s privacy

Lastly, give each other distance even if you are already social media friends. If you are only looking for something casual, there is no need to expect the other person to react to every one of your posts or leave comments. Social media should be used to stay connected and up to date about each other’s lives and not a means to pry into every little detail that goes on behind the scenes.

The post Dos and Don’ts in Navigating the Dating World in the Age of Social Media appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(662) "

Social media has an undeniable impact on almost every aspect of our daily lives. From how we connect to people and even finding relationships, these platforms have changed the rules and continue to shape human interactions in new and exciting ways. Our focus in this article is the role of social media in dating. While […]

The post Dos and Don’ts in Navigating the Dating World in the Age of Social Media appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4004) "

Social media has an undeniable impact on almost every aspect of our daily lives. From how we connect to people and even finding relationships, these platforms have changed the rules and continue to shape human interactions in new and exciting ways. Our focus in this article is the role of social media in dating. While there are no hard and fast guidelines to achieve success, there are some universally accepted dos and don’ts. Understanding what you should and should not do will not only increase your chances of finding a potential partner but also avoid unpleasant encounters.

Drawing the line between serious and casual relationships

Now, it is essential to keep in mind that not every person who is actively dating is eager for something serious. Some are searching for fun where the main objective is to meet and enjoy each other’s company. In most of these encounters, social media serves as a tool which supports dating platforms.

For casual relationships and flirty dating, you should begin by making sure that you are using the right dating application or service. Ashley Madison used to be the top service in this type of online dating, but have since become an industry pariah due to some controversies. If you are looking for an Ashley Madison alternative, there are plenty of options available where you get the highest level of privacy. These platforms have also improved upon their matchmaking system, and with millions of active users, you will surely connect with like-minded individuals who are also looking for fun and excitement.

Once you have chosen the right dating service, you can now begin expanding your connections with the people you meet through social media. With that, here are the things you should avoid, and the things you should do to use social media to your advantage.

Stay true to yourself

Social media channels like Instagram and Facebook tend to show only the best side of a person. To a certain extent, it is alright to put your best foot forward. But, you also need to let your personality shine through. Avoid filtering your photos too much, and try to post real moments in your daily life.

Social media stalking is a no go

Sometimes when you are browsing an online dating profile, you get tempted to search for the person’s social media account and stalk them. It is acceptable to look a person up online, but do not get to the point where you are continually stalking their social media accounts.

Do use social media to stay connected

If you are interested in a person you met through a dating platform, you can use social media to keep in touch. Using different applications to send messages and emails is acceptable as long as the other person consents.

Respect each other’s privacy

Lastly, give each other distance even if you are already social media friends. If you are only looking for something casual, there is no need to expect the other person to react to every one of your posts or leave comments. Social media should be used to stay connected and up to date about each other’s lives and not a means to pry into every little detail that goes on behind the scenes.

The post Dos and Don’ts in Navigating the Dating World in the Age of Social Media appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575990633) } [3]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(25) "Dating Etiquette For Gals" ["link"]=> string(64) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/10/dating-etiquette-for-gals/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 10 Dec 2019 11:51:21 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(35) "Dating AdvicedatingDating Etiquette" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3808" ["description"]=> string(538) "

Let me just say first that the whole women coming on to men movement is bullshit.  Do I think that woman can be more aggressive than in the past- Yes, but to be the one pursuing the man?  Just plain dumb (unless you are a very skilled maneater like myself or Angelina Jolie).  So I have […]

The post Dating Etiquette For Gals appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4173) "

Let me just say first that the whole women coming on to men movement is bullshit.  Do I think that woman can be more aggressive than in the past- Yes, but to be the one pursuing the man?  Just plain dumb (unless you are a very skilled maneater like myself or Angelina Jolie).  So I have come up with simple dating rules to live by so listen up gals.

Quit Talking About Your Ex

Enough already.  Keep your Ex your Ex.  It is over and you have moved on- right?  One of the biggest turn off to a man is a woman who is already comparing him to her past relationships good or bad.  Even if you are talking about what your ex didn’t do and what your date has a one up on him, it is only leading him to believe that you are going to be high maintenance and hard to please, and we all know that men want everything quick and easy, including women.  So can the ex once and for all and find something else to talk about.

Don’t Bring Up SEX

Okay, so if you bring up sex in the beginning stages of dating (especially on a first date) you are more likely to find yourself being groped out in the parking lot or staring down at his exposed penis by the end of the night.  Not that you have to be a prude, or god forbid make up a 90 day rule (ugh), but don’t insinuate that you are good in bed, or let on to how many sexual partners you have had.  And if you are ever asked that question- NEVER tell. It’s irrelevant and it only gives him another way to categorize or label you- don’t do it.

Be Appreciative

Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who appreciates him.  If he is a good date, some planning and cash have gone into the evening to make you feel special and although he did those things because he wanted to, in reality he owes you nothing and you should acknowledge the effort that he put forth.  Let him open the door, pull out your chair, help you order- I know it is rare, but IF that happens, let it and just say thank you.  And if he compliments you on how you look a simple thank you will do.  DO NOT disagree with his compliment and tell him all the reasons why you are not beautiful- just say thank you damn it!

Try To Listen/ Ask Questions

I know being a woman this can be a hard thing to do and we like to believe that dates are supposed to be all about us so this one may be hard to swallow.  But this is actually for your benefit, not his.  If you are a savvy woman, and I know you are, then you know that picking men can be like shopping for good deals.  You have to look around, keep your eyes and ears peeled, and jump on the good ones.  And most importantly, you have to know what you are shopping for.  You wouldn’t go to the grocery store without knowing what you needed right?  Same with finding a man, know what you want then ask questions, listen, and then determine if that is it.  If all you want is a one night stand and your only criteria is a cute face and nice body then by all means get drunk and talk all you want, but otherwise try to listen gals!

Don’t Drink Too Much

Now this is the hard one for me because I don’t see the point in drinking unless you are going to get drunk, but this one goes hand in hand with the previous point I made.  How can you get to know who is sitting next to you if you are out of your mind drunk.  And to men drunk girl = better chance to get laid.  Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, save yourself the embarrassment and don’t do it.  If you know you are a lush, go on a coffee date or to an ice cream parlor with your date.

The post Dating Etiquette For Gals appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(538) "

Let me just say first that the whole women coming on to men movement is bullshit.  Do I think that woman can be more aggressive than in the past- Yes, but to be the one pursuing the man?  Just plain dumb (unless you are a very skilled maneater like myself or Angelina Jolie).  So I have […]

The post Dating Etiquette For Gals appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4173) "

Let me just say first that the whole women coming on to men movement is bullshit.  Do I think that woman can be more aggressive than in the past- Yes, but to be the one pursuing the man?  Just plain dumb (unless you are a very skilled maneater like myself or Angelina Jolie).  So I have come up with simple dating rules to live by so listen up gals.

Quit Talking About Your Ex

Enough already.  Keep your Ex your Ex.  It is over and you have moved on- right?  One of the biggest turn off to a man is a woman who is already comparing him to her past relationships good or bad.  Even if you are talking about what your ex didn’t do and what your date has a one up on him, it is only leading him to believe that you are going to be high maintenance and hard to please, and we all know that men want everything quick and easy, including women.  So can the ex once and for all and find something else to talk about.

Don’t Bring Up SEX

Okay, so if you bring up sex in the beginning stages of dating (especially on a first date) you are more likely to find yourself being groped out in the parking lot or staring down at his exposed penis by the end of the night.  Not that you have to be a prude, or god forbid make up a 90 day rule (ugh), but don’t insinuate that you are good in bed, or let on to how many sexual partners you have had.  And if you are ever asked that question- NEVER tell. It’s irrelevant and it only gives him another way to categorize or label you- don’t do it.

Be Appreciative

Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who appreciates him.  If he is a good date, some planning and cash have gone into the evening to make you feel special and although he did those things because he wanted to, in reality he owes you nothing and you should acknowledge the effort that he put forth.  Let him open the door, pull out your chair, help you order- I know it is rare, but IF that happens, let it and just say thank you.  And if he compliments you on how you look a simple thank you will do.  DO NOT disagree with his compliment and tell him all the reasons why you are not beautiful- just say thank you damn it!

Try To Listen/ Ask Questions

I know being a woman this can be a hard thing to do and we like to believe that dates are supposed to be all about us so this one may be hard to swallow.  But this is actually for your benefit, not his.  If you are a savvy woman, and I know you are, then you know that picking men can be like shopping for good deals.  You have to look around, keep your eyes and ears peeled, and jump on the good ones.  And most importantly, you have to know what you are shopping for.  You wouldn’t go to the grocery store without knowing what you needed right?  Same with finding a man, know what you want then ask questions, listen, and then determine if that is it.  If all you want is a one night stand and your only criteria is a cute face and nice body then by all means get drunk and talk all you want, but otherwise try to listen gals!

Don’t Drink Too Much

Now this is the hard one for me because I don’t see the point in drinking unless you are going to get drunk, but this one goes hand in hand with the previous point I made.  How can you get to know who is sitting next to you if you are out of your mind drunk.  And to men drunk girl = better chance to get laid.  Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, save yourself the embarrassment and don’t do it.  If you know you are a lush, go on a coffee date or to an ice cream parlor with your date.

The post Dating Etiquette For Gals appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575978681) } [4]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(29) "The Open Relationship Dilemma" ["link"]=> string(68) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/09/the-open-relationship-dilemma/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:36:59 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["category"]=> string(85) "Love & SexFEMALE SEXUALITYhow toMONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPOPEN RELATIONSHIPrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3805" ["description"]=> string(509) "

At some point, many of us have wondered what it would be like to be in an open relationship. What would it be like to have a constant partner, but to be able to have other men from time to time? What would it feel like to have a cake and eat it, too? An […]

The post The Open Relationship Dilemma appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5127) "

At some point, many of us have wondered what it would be like to be in an open relationship. What would it be like to have a constant partner, but to be able to have other men from time to time? What would it feel like to have a cake and eat it, too?

An open relationship is the ultimate forbidden fruit. Or so it seems. Why does it make us feel so uncomfortable to even consider it?

Two reasons: social norms and fear of failure. Nothing drives us humans quite as much as the desire to fit in, and the fear to fail in something important. Ironically, those two things also prevent us from taking chances and trying new things. Let’s take a closer look:

Social Norms

When I think about the generations of our mothers and grandmothers, it seems to me that those women were (and often still are) sexually oppressed. I feel that they didn’t get the chance to fully explore their sexuality, to experiment, and just to have fun. Back then, which is not that long ago, a lot of things that are mainstream today were considered largely unacceptable. I’m talking about things like sex before marriage, being able to choose your partner, casual sex, same sex relationship, having more than one sexual partner throughout your life, divorce, and in some cases, even having a boyfriend. As a woman in the 21st century, I would never give up any of these freedoms.

But when I think about the next generations, I suspect that the story will repeat itself. One day, being in an open relationship might become the new social norm, just like living with a boyfriend or engaging in a one-night stand has. The younger generations would think of us as conservative, square-minded, prehistoric creatures who wasted their good years on being committed to just one person. But that’s just a speculation.

Fear of Failure

Most of us like to think that we’re open-minded, but when it comes down to it, we are deeply uncomfortable with the new and unfamiliar. It’s because we don’t know what to expect and we’re afraid to fail. And when it comes to our relationships, a lot is at stake. When considering switching from a monogamous to an open relationship, the number one fear people have is that it will ruin their existing relationship. They desperately want to spice things up, but are afraid of the competition, jealousy, and insecurities that an open relationship might bring about.

The cold hard truth is that there’s no such thing as one size fits all. A monogamous relationship is no longer the foolproof recipe for eternal love (and has it ever been?). The 50% divorce rate serves as an evidence of that. You just can’t predict how any major decision in your life would affect your relationship. The good old familiar things like moving in together, having kids, moving to a new city or country, they all have the potential to make or break your relationship. Deciding to have an open relationship is just another item on that list.

So What’s The Verdict?

It’s completely up to you to decide. If you decide to give an open relationship a try, you should consider laying out some ground rules that both you and your partner will be comfortable with. Here are a few things to think about:

  1. Safe sex. This is a no-brainer. Always practice safe sex outside your relationship, and get checked for STDs regularly.
  2. Who can know? Are you going to keep it a secret? Or are you comfortable with certain people knowing about your open relationship?
  3. Mutual friends and acquaintances. Are you allowed to have sex with people you both know? Or does it complicate things too much?
  4. First preference. Your mutual plans as a couple should always come first.
  5. How much should you share? Will you tell each other who you’ve been with? Will you share the details about what you’ve done? Decide how much is too much, and prevent unnecessary jealousy.
  6. Bringing other partners home. Are you comfortable with that? Or do you prefer to keep your private zone private?
  7. Spending the night. Are you allowed to spend the whole night with other sexual partners?

What are your thoughts on the open relationship dilemma? Have you been in one? Would you give it a try?

The post The Open Relationship Dilemma appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(509) "

At some point, many of us have wondered what it would be like to be in an open relationship. What would it be like to have a constant partner, but to be able to have other men from time to time? What would it feel like to have a cake and eat it, too? An […]

The post The Open Relationship Dilemma appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5127) "

At some point, many of us have wondered what it would be like to be in an open relationship. What would it be like to have a constant partner, but to be able to have other men from time to time? What would it feel like to have a cake and eat it, too?

An open relationship is the ultimate forbidden fruit. Or so it seems. Why does it make us feel so uncomfortable to even consider it?

Two reasons: social norms and fear of failure. Nothing drives us humans quite as much as the desire to fit in, and the fear to fail in something important. Ironically, those two things also prevent us from taking chances and trying new things. Let’s take a closer look:

Social Norms

When I think about the generations of our mothers and grandmothers, it seems to me that those women were (and often still are) sexually oppressed. I feel that they didn’t get the chance to fully explore their sexuality, to experiment, and just to have fun. Back then, which is not that long ago, a lot of things that are mainstream today were considered largely unacceptable. I’m talking about things like sex before marriage, being able to choose your partner, casual sex, same sex relationship, having more than one sexual partner throughout your life, divorce, and in some cases, even having a boyfriend. As a woman in the 21st century, I would never give up any of these freedoms.

But when I think about the next generations, I suspect that the story will repeat itself. One day, being in an open relationship might become the new social norm, just like living with a boyfriend or engaging in a one-night stand has. The younger generations would think of us as conservative, square-minded, prehistoric creatures who wasted their good years on being committed to just one person. But that’s just a speculation.

Fear of Failure

Most of us like to think that we’re open-minded, but when it comes down to it, we are deeply uncomfortable with the new and unfamiliar. It’s because we don’t know what to expect and we’re afraid to fail. And when it comes to our relationships, a lot is at stake. When considering switching from a monogamous to an open relationship, the number one fear people have is that it will ruin their existing relationship. They desperately want to spice things up, but are afraid of the competition, jealousy, and insecurities that an open relationship might bring about.

The cold hard truth is that there’s no such thing as one size fits all. A monogamous relationship is no longer the foolproof recipe for eternal love (and has it ever been?). The 50% divorce rate serves as an evidence of that. You just can’t predict how any major decision in your life would affect your relationship. The good old familiar things like moving in together, having kids, moving to a new city or country, they all have the potential to make or break your relationship. Deciding to have an open relationship is just another item on that list.

So What’s The Verdict?

It’s completely up to you to decide. If you decide to give an open relationship a try, you should consider laying out some ground rules that both you and your partner will be comfortable with. Here are a few things to think about:

  1. Safe sex. This is a no-brainer. Always practice safe sex outside your relationship, and get checked for STDs regularly.
  2. Who can know? Are you going to keep it a secret? Or are you comfortable with certain people knowing about your open relationship?
  3. Mutual friends and acquaintances. Are you allowed to have sex with people you both know? Or does it complicate things too much?
  4. First preference. Your mutual plans as a couple should always come first.
  5. How much should you share? Will you tell each other who you’ve been with? Will you share the details about what you’ve done? Decide how much is too much, and prevent unnecessary jealousy.
  6. Bringing other partners home. Are you comfortable with that? Or do you prefer to keep your private zone private?
  7. Spending the night. Are you allowed to spend the whole night with other sexual partners?

What are your thoughts on the open relationship dilemma? Have you been in one? Would you give it a try?

The post The Open Relationship Dilemma appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575909419) } [5]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(24) "Break Up With Your Fears" ["link"]=> string(63) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/09/break-up-with-your-fears/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:24:01 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(67) "Personal Growthfearslow self esteemself developmentself improvement" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3802" ["description"]=> string(615) "

You’ve broken up with bad roommates, bad kissers, and the bad notion that any project you attempt to do from Pinterest will actually turn out anywhere close to resembling its original pin. So why are you still in a relationship with negative dream-crushing, toxic, and worrisome thoughts? The answer is simple—because they don’t stop showing up. Whether it’s […]

The post Break Up With Your Fears appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7140) "

You’ve broken up with bad roommates, bad kissers, and the bad notion that any project you attempt to do from Pinterest will actually turn out anywhere close to resembling its original pin. So why are you still in a relationship with negative dream-crushing, toxic, and worrisome thoughts? The answer is simple—because they don’t stop showing up. Whether it’s your internal dialog of self-doubt or the external dialog of society pushing you to where it thinks you should be, those thoughts can be constant. They will always be there inviting themselves in, until you start showing them to the door and once and for all taking a stand and learning how to break up with your fears.

We know you can build yourself up to be the fearless chick you were always meant to be by acing the practice of choosing your thoughts and breaking up with your fears.

On an average day, your brain processes over 50,000 thoughts. But to break it down, every decision, every action, and every single one of those 50,000 thoughts can be divided into just two categories. Those thoughts are either coming from a place of Fear or a place of Love. And I know what you’re probably thinking … and no,  you don’t have to be a Zen-master-guru hugging every tree in your hippie commune to practice what I’m saying. You just have to recognize that all things come down to those two choices in order to break up with your fears.

That Job You Hate

Think about it. You might feel pretty bad-ass and fearless most of the time but if your drive to work consists of brainstorming creative reasons to call in sick, fear might be the reason you’re staying in a job that you hate. You’re probably afraid you’ll never get hired anywhere better or if you quit your job to follow a dream you’ve always had a passion for you’ll end up eating expired canned food from the dollar store. (Okay so that may or may not have happened to me for a short time, but I promise you that the expiration date on canned food is merely a suggestion and that the dollar store isn’t that bad, they even stock some g-free items . . .)

Once I realized that fear was steering my future and trapping me into becoming something much less than the awesomeness I was capable of, I made a plan and a choice to leave my steady job to start my own business—out of love for myself and for what I truly LOVE to do. So I sacrificed eating out at fancy restaurants every week to seeing how many meals I could stretch from one pack of hot dogs. So what? It was totally worth it. Because the ultimate goal was to live a life that I loved, and to finally break up with my fear and show it who’s boss.

That Toxic Relationship

Be fearless enough to recognize a toxic relationship when you are in one. Toxic relationships aren’t just abusive ex-boyfriends and back-stabbing besties. Toxic relationships can be right in front of you and you might not even realize it.

It could be that co-worker who always undermines your work or has an earful of complaints to spew off in your direction every day. Don’t let her fears become your workplace quicksand.

It could be an old friend who is inadvertently trying to make you build the first-ever- super-successful-one-sided friendship. One-sided relationships aren’t anything but draining. And you know what? No one should be too busy to see how awesome you are and to support all of that badassness. And any amount of one-sided relationship-ing that you partake in will only sacrifice your growth and self-esteem.

It could be that family member (you love deeply but… ) who can’t help from seasoning sarcasm into everything they say so in turn all you ever receive are backhanded compliments. Let’s face it, we can’t break up with our family members as easy as our fears, but we can choose the amount of time we spend with them and how much of ourselves we allow them to break us down.

And for those ladies out there who are in a stagnant-mosquito-breeding-water type of a relationship, hanging around a certain guy just because “you two have been through so much together”? Well let me tell you fearlessly that the time you put in with someone does not equate to quality. If he’s not the best version of himself and if he’s not bringing out the best version of you, then you could be in a toxic relationship. Don’t stay with someone just because you’re afraid to be alone or afraid of starting all over in a new relationship. Love your future self enough to do her a worthy favor and break up with your fear. Start by looking for the type of man who will make you happy—that you will love without fear.

That Worrier That Lives in All of Us

Worrying about current or future situations is only human. But recognize the choice you have. Worrying is simply a choice of fear dressed up in “planning the outcome” pants. Worrying is a practice that may make you think that you’ve got control of the situation, but really you are just organizing your fears in the file folders of your mind. Worrying, no matter how big or how small, is the exact opposite of being fearless. Both fabulous and terrible things will happen in life, but worrying about them won’t change a thing. Break up with your fears by realizing the only thing you can truly change is how you view the situations you find yourself in and react to them.

Being fearless doesn’t mean never being able to be afraid—just like being awesome doesn’t mean never getting to know the eye-stinging-tearful pain of failure (or the taste of expired canned food) while on your way to success. Being fearless means you are able to take those “oh-shit-this-is-scary” steps in life to develop more courage. And courage is like getting inked with your first tattoo—once you’re marked with it, you’ll become addicted to the amazing feeling claiming your truth bestows upon you. Fears don’t always come in big scary nightmare packages, sometimes they come in the form of  thoughts, relationships or worries and slowly creep into your life, burying parts of your confidence into the ground before you even notice.

By recognizing that the root of all thoughts, feelings, and decisions you make is either one of Fear or one of Love, you can start to change your life one thought at a time and break up with your fears once and for all. Your future self will thank you.

The post Break Up With Your Fears appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(615) "

You’ve broken up with bad roommates, bad kissers, and the bad notion that any project you attempt to do from Pinterest will actually turn out anywhere close to resembling its original pin. So why are you still in a relationship with negative dream-crushing, toxic, and worrisome thoughts? The answer is simple—because they don’t stop showing up. Whether it’s […]

The post Break Up With Your Fears appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7140) "

You’ve broken up with bad roommates, bad kissers, and the bad notion that any project you attempt to do from Pinterest will actually turn out anywhere close to resembling its original pin. So why are you still in a relationship with negative dream-crushing, toxic, and worrisome thoughts? The answer is simple—because they don’t stop showing up. Whether it’s your internal dialog of self-doubt or the external dialog of society pushing you to where it thinks you should be, those thoughts can be constant. They will always be there inviting themselves in, until you start showing them to the door and once and for all taking a stand and learning how to break up with your fears.

We know you can build yourself up to be the fearless chick you were always meant to be by acing the practice of choosing your thoughts and breaking up with your fears.

On an average day, your brain processes over 50,000 thoughts. But to break it down, every decision, every action, and every single one of those 50,000 thoughts can be divided into just two categories. Those thoughts are either coming from a place of Fear or a place of Love. And I know what you’re probably thinking … and no,  you don’t have to be a Zen-master-guru hugging every tree in your hippie commune to practice what I’m saying. You just have to recognize that all things come down to those two choices in order to break up with your fears.

That Job You Hate

Think about it. You might feel pretty bad-ass and fearless most of the time but if your drive to work consists of brainstorming creative reasons to call in sick, fear might be the reason you’re staying in a job that you hate. You’re probably afraid you’ll never get hired anywhere better or if you quit your job to follow a dream you’ve always had a passion for you’ll end up eating expired canned food from the dollar store. (Okay so that may or may not have happened to me for a short time, but I promise you that the expiration date on canned food is merely a suggestion and that the dollar store isn’t that bad, they even stock some g-free items . . .)

Once I realized that fear was steering my future and trapping me into becoming something much less than the awesomeness I was capable of, I made a plan and a choice to leave my steady job to start my own business—out of love for myself and for what I truly LOVE to do. So I sacrificed eating out at fancy restaurants every week to seeing how many meals I could stretch from one pack of hot dogs. So what? It was totally worth it. Because the ultimate goal was to live a life that I loved, and to finally break up with my fear and show it who’s boss.

That Toxic Relationship

Be fearless enough to recognize a toxic relationship when you are in one. Toxic relationships aren’t just abusive ex-boyfriends and back-stabbing besties. Toxic relationships can be right in front of you and you might not even realize it.

It could be that co-worker who always undermines your work or has an earful of complaints to spew off in your direction every day. Don’t let her fears become your workplace quicksand.

It could be an old friend who is inadvertently trying to make you build the first-ever- super-successful-one-sided friendship. One-sided relationships aren’t anything but draining. And you know what? No one should be too busy to see how awesome you are and to support all of that badassness. And any amount of one-sided relationship-ing that you partake in will only sacrifice your growth and self-esteem.

It could be that family member (you love deeply but… ) who can’t help from seasoning sarcasm into everything they say so in turn all you ever receive are backhanded compliments. Let’s face it, we can’t break up with our family members as easy as our fears, but we can choose the amount of time we spend with them and how much of ourselves we allow them to break us down.

And for those ladies out there who are in a stagnant-mosquito-breeding-water type of a relationship, hanging around a certain guy just because “you two have been through so much together”? Well let me tell you fearlessly that the time you put in with someone does not equate to quality. If he’s not the best version of himself and if he’s not bringing out the best version of you, then you could be in a toxic relationship. Don’t stay with someone just because you’re afraid to be alone or afraid of starting all over in a new relationship. Love your future self enough to do her a worthy favor and break up with your fear. Start by looking for the type of man who will make you happy—that you will love without fear.

That Worrier That Lives in All of Us

Worrying about current or future situations is only human. But recognize the choice you have. Worrying is simply a choice of fear dressed up in “planning the outcome” pants. Worrying is a practice that may make you think that you’ve got control of the situation, but really you are just organizing your fears in the file folders of your mind. Worrying, no matter how big or how small, is the exact opposite of being fearless. Both fabulous and terrible things will happen in life, but worrying about them won’t change a thing. Break up with your fears by realizing the only thing you can truly change is how you view the situations you find yourself in and react to them.

Being fearless doesn’t mean never being able to be afraid—just like being awesome doesn’t mean never getting to know the eye-stinging-tearful pain of failure (or the taste of expired canned food) while on your way to success. Being fearless means you are able to take those “oh-shit-this-is-scary” steps in life to develop more courage. And courage is like getting inked with your first tattoo—once you’re marked with it, you’ll become addicted to the amazing feeling claiming your truth bestows upon you. Fears don’t always come in big scary nightmare packages, sometimes they come in the form of  thoughts, relationships or worries and slowly creep into your life, burying parts of your confidence into the ground before you even notice.

By recognizing that the root of all thoughts, feelings, and decisions you make is either one of Fear or one of Love, you can start to change your life one thought at a time and break up with your fears once and for all. Your future self will thank you.

The post Break Up With Your Fears appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575908641) } [6]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(35) "Lessons I Learned during My Divorce" ["link"]=> string(74) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/09/lessons-i-learned-during-my-divorce/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:12:09 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(38) "Divorcebreak upconfidencerelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3797" ["description"]=> string(584) "

After marrying my high school sweetheart at 22 and divorcing at 24 my friends and family thought I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t able to make them feel much better when I couldn’t explain exactly why our marriage ended. I just knew something wasn’t right. In a world where Facebook relationships can feel like our […]

The post Lessons I Learned during My Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5274) "

After marrying my high school sweetheart at 22 and divorcing at 24 my friends and family thought I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t able to make them feel much better when I couldn’t explain exactly why our marriage ended. I just knew something wasn’t right.

In a world where Facebook relationships can feel like our defining characteristics, it can be hard to step up and say your relationship isn’t working anymore. I lived in fear of stepping away from my relationship, especially since I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did, but now that I’m well out on the other side, I’m happy I did. And I Iearned a lot along the way.

I can definitely say I’m happy I got divorced today, but a year ago I wasn’t quite sure where I was going. Here are some things I learned along the way that led me to a happier place.

What I Learned during My Divorce

It’s Okay to Not Be Able to Explain Why You Want to Leave

If you want to leave your relationship but you can’t exactly verbalize why, that’s totally valid. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You might need to leave that relationship to figure out why. All that matters is that you know you are not at your best in that relationship. You know you have more to give this world. Once you leave the relationship and start building a new life for yourself the mystery will probably subside.

Don’t Let People Make You Feel like a Coward for Leaving

Many more people will wish they were as brave as you.

Even if the reason your relationship didn’t work out isn’t clear cut, if you truly feel it was the right choice for you to leave then you don’t need to worry about what everyone else thinks. When my parents first found out my husband and I were separating they made me feel extremely guilty about leaving a nice guy. My family’s comments made me feel like I would never be able to catch a “good one” again. The thing is, that was the exact logic that kept me in that relationship longer than I should have been in the first place. I had just as many people tell me they were proud of me for being brave when I left, and even more who told me they wished they could follow their heart like I did.

Go to Therapy, Keep a Journal, and Take Care of Yourself

Try to work through any unresolved pain you’re carrying. I found a mix of therapy, meditation, yoga, writing, and travel helped me. Therapy is important whenever you’re going through a major life change and it is especially important during a divorce. Seeing a therapist and sorting through your thoughts will also keep you from being that divorcee who only talks about her divorce. I wasn’t a believer in therapy when I first started going but I learned so much about psychology from talking to a therapist. Now I can step back from a situation and understand why I’m reacting in a positive or negative way.

Keep the Comments about Your Ex Clean and Honest

There’s no reason to start a smear campaign about your ex, especially if the relationship ended amicably. It’s easy to want to put all of the blame on your ex, but in most cases it takes two to break up a relationship. You know that you aren’t perfect so don’t talk trash. And definitely keep your relationship woes off of social media.

Give Yourself the Opportunity to Be Lost for Awhile

It’s okay to fall apart a little bit, just make sure you’re careful and cautious. Keep a good buddy around to keep you grounded (and out of the junk food for a reasonable amount of time). Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad. Feel the heaviness that is the end of a big part of your life, but don’t forget to look forward to the future.

Throw Yourself into a Passion

Revisit an old passion or begin a new hobby. Give yourself the time to do that one thing you never felt like you could do when you were in a relationship. Chances are you’ll have a lot of emotions to pour into a creative project.

Whatever happens, remember that this is just a temporary part of your life. You are not defined by a divorce. You learn something from every relationship, so take the time to learn your lessons from this experience. You’ll be better prepared the next time around.

The post Lessons I Learned during My Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(584) "

After marrying my high school sweetheart at 22 and divorcing at 24 my friends and family thought I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t able to make them feel much better when I couldn’t explain exactly why our marriage ended. I just knew something wasn’t right. In a world where Facebook relationships can feel like our […]

The post Lessons I Learned during My Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5274) "

After marrying my high school sweetheart at 22 and divorcing at 24 my friends and family thought I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t able to make them feel much better when I couldn’t explain exactly why our marriage ended. I just knew something wasn’t right.

In a world where Facebook relationships can feel like our defining characteristics, it can be hard to step up and say your relationship isn’t working anymore. I lived in fear of stepping away from my relationship, especially since I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did, but now that I’m well out on the other side, I’m happy I did. And I Iearned a lot along the way.

I can definitely say I’m happy I got divorced today, but a year ago I wasn’t quite sure where I was going. Here are some things I learned along the way that led me to a happier place.

What I Learned during My Divorce

It’s Okay to Not Be Able to Explain Why You Want to Leave

If you want to leave your relationship but you can’t exactly verbalize why, that’s totally valid. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You might need to leave that relationship to figure out why. All that matters is that you know you are not at your best in that relationship. You know you have more to give this world. Once you leave the relationship and start building a new life for yourself the mystery will probably subside.

Don’t Let People Make You Feel like a Coward for Leaving

Many more people will wish they were as brave as you.

Even if the reason your relationship didn’t work out isn’t clear cut, if you truly feel it was the right choice for you to leave then you don’t need to worry about what everyone else thinks. When my parents first found out my husband and I were separating they made me feel extremely guilty about leaving a nice guy. My family’s comments made me feel like I would never be able to catch a “good one” again. The thing is, that was the exact logic that kept me in that relationship longer than I should have been in the first place. I had just as many people tell me they were proud of me for being brave when I left, and even more who told me they wished they could follow their heart like I did.

Go to Therapy, Keep a Journal, and Take Care of Yourself

Try to work through any unresolved pain you’re carrying. I found a mix of therapy, meditation, yoga, writing, and travel helped me. Therapy is important whenever you’re going through a major life change and it is especially important during a divorce. Seeing a therapist and sorting through your thoughts will also keep you from being that divorcee who only talks about her divorce. I wasn’t a believer in therapy when I first started going but I learned so much about psychology from talking to a therapist. Now I can step back from a situation and understand why I’m reacting in a positive or negative way.

Keep the Comments about Your Ex Clean and Honest

There’s no reason to start a smear campaign about your ex, especially if the relationship ended amicably. It’s easy to want to put all of the blame on your ex, but in most cases it takes two to break up a relationship. You know that you aren’t perfect so don’t talk trash. And definitely keep your relationship woes off of social media.

Give Yourself the Opportunity to Be Lost for Awhile

It’s okay to fall apart a little bit, just make sure you’re careful and cautious. Keep a good buddy around to keep you grounded (and out of the junk food for a reasonable amount of time). Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad. Feel the heaviness that is the end of a big part of your life, but don’t forget to look forward to the future.

Throw Yourself into a Passion

Revisit an old passion or begin a new hobby. Give yourself the time to do that one thing you never felt like you could do when you were in a relationship. Chances are you’ll have a lot of emotions to pour into a creative project.

Whatever happens, remember that this is just a temporary part of your life. You are not defined by a divorce. You learn something from every relationship, so take the time to learn your lessons from this experience. You’ll be better prepared the next time around.

The post Lessons I Learned during My Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575907929) } [7]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(47) "74 Symptoms of an Impending Quarter-Life Crisis" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/09/74-symptoms-of-an-impending-quarter-life-crisis/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:02:01 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(122) "Interestingcrisis twentiesgirlsgrowing upHumorlove and workmillennialmillennial lifepsychologyquarter-lifetwenty something" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3794" ["description"]=> string(635) "

You might be due for your Quarter-Life Crisis if… 1. You’ve finally graduated to a “real” email address, something “professional”, though you often find yourself feeling nostalgic for your first email, rife with xx’s, sHiT tYpEd OuT LiKe dIs and a Fall Out Boy reference. 2. You have your own place, most likely with cohabitants, […]

The post 74 Symptoms of an Impending Quarter-Life Crisis appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(12805) "

You might be due for your Quarter-Life Crisis if…

1. You’ve finally graduated to a “real” email address, something “professional”, though you often find yourself feeling nostalgic for your first email, rife with xx’s, sHiT tYpEd OuT LiKe dIs and a Fall Out Boy reference.
2. You have your own place, most likely with cohabitants, but you still sheepishly expect to do laundry whenever you visit your parents.
3. Your Google search history includes questions like “Why does boy pee stain the toilet?” or “I have a hair on my boob, what should I do?”
4. You’re still not 100% sure what a 401k is, but if you have one, you like to say things like “I have a very diverse investment portfolio” at parties.
5. If you have a car, it probably has a college sticker from your alma mater in the back window, and you realize that you are slowly crossing the threshold of people assuming it’s your alma mater to asking if your kid goes there.
6. Coffee is considered either a major food group or, if not that, a daily supplement. It should technically be covered by your health insurance.
7. Your hairstyle is a constant source of insecurity because you can never tell if you look older or younger than your age.
8. You have accumulated a very large collection of pens, 95% of which don’t seem to work but you keep them anyway.
9. Snow Days mean nothing to you. Except, maybe, getting up early to shovel and defrost.
10. “Sick Days” are much harder to justify. Basically, if you aren’t puking or bleeding, you go to work like a grown up.
11. You have at least one contact in your phone that says something along the lines of “Hairflip from Seattle” as a description for a person you once met.
12. You routinely list your childhood best friend on your resume as a “character reference” — because they are, truly, the one person in your life qualified to refer to you as “quite a character.”
13. You’ve already found a few stray gray hairs and you’ve decided to keep them because they make you seem more mature.
14. You’ve said, “Sorry, I’m still pretty new here” for at least the first six months of a new job.
15. Shows like Girls infuriate you: no one you know has an apartment or wardrobe half as chic as those girls.
16. You’ve worn the same pair of underwear for two days because, you know, if you turn them inside out it’s basically like they’re still clean. Right?
17. Alcohol poisoning was not the most serious alcohol related emergency room visit you’ve had.
18. You’re a smoker in the sense that you often say things like “Ugh, I need a cig” when you’re stressed and you like to flash that pack of American Spirits you keep in your purse.
19. You might be the youngest person in your office, but you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who knows anything about #Life.
20. The formula for deciding how offended you are by being called “Kid” is as follows:
Person calling you ‘kid’ = >age 50= minimally offended
Person calling you ‘kid’ =<50= extremely offended Person calling you ‘kid’ = >/=75= you are like “Aww, that’s so cute, I am a kid!”
21. Suddenly everyone is “really chill” talking about masturbation.
22. The amount of money you spend on bachelorette/baby shower gifts suddenly precludes any actual social activities with friends that would cost money.
23. People no longer ask what your parents do; they ask what you do.
24. And if they do happen to ask what your parents do, your recent revelation that they are “people” and not just “your parents” leads you to respond with something like, “Well, my father is an investment banker and a functioning alcoholic!”
25. Going to sleep before nine pm is to present-day-you as staying up later than seven pm was to childhood-you.
26. You pat yourself on the back for buying floss whenever you go to the drug store, but the reality is, you don’t use it fast enough to warrant as much as you buy, so suddenly you are drowning in floss which is taunting you with anxiety provoking thoughts like “You aren’t flossing enough! You’re increasing your risk of heart disease!”
27.You see a cute baby in the grocery store in the cereal aisle and you think,“Oh, I can’t wait to be a parent.” but by the time you get to the milk you’ve heard enough screaming children to do a 180 and as you grab your gallon of 2% you shudder at the realization of “Ugh, kids.”
28. When you go for a physical and the doctor asks you how much exercise you get in a week you’re like, “Well, not that much I guess but I’m always really tired so I think I must be doing enough physical activity.”
29. Your yoga mat is serving you well as a bath mat.
30. You like to think you know about world affairs but even if you don’t you’ve figured out that saying “I can’t believe what’s happening in (insert any country, even your own) is always a conversation starter.
31. Every month when you cut a check for rent you say, “Didn’t I just pay the rent?”
32. You’ve had to cover up a poorly placed laugh by saying something like,“I’m sorry, I’ve just never met anyone whose last name is actually Butman before.”
33. You semi-understand that your tax return isn’t exactly “free money” but it still is a nice surprise.
34. If you say you don’t like something and someone asks why, if you don’t feel like explaining it to them you just sigh and say, “It’s bad for the economy.”
35. On a first date you’ve been poised to ask, “So, how often are we realistically going to have sex?”
36. You have a separate ringtone on your phone for your mother so that you can prepare to sound as sober as possible when you answer the phone.
37. Even though you were on the receiving end, you’ve apologized for accidental anal because, you know, you’re like sorry that your butthole was just like, right there.
38. You have called your best friend specifically to ask them how they poop, because you are really starting to question if the western way is the best way.
39. You have had an inconvenient boner and surrendered to it. Maybe if you keep talking no one will notice. . .
40. You’re never sure when you can use a smiley face in a work email, but once you see someone else do it you’re relieved.
41. You budget your groceries in the sense that if it’s above a certain amount when you check out, you audibly groan.
42. If you’re in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married. If you’re not in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married.
43. You have a Pinterest board specifically dedicated to getting you into your “happy place” after a hard day. May or may not include puppies.
44. You’ve specifically denied that there are any similarities between your current girlfriend and your mother.
45. “Free food” is a pick-up line.
46. When attempting to “woo” a potential date, you’ve heard yourself say, “My roommates are totally chill with me having people overnight.” — unless, of course, you still live with your parents.
47. When a job you’re applying for requires you to have “reliable transportation” you wonder what exactly qualifies as “reliable.”
48. Your willing adherence to expiration dates is directly proportional to how much money you spent on the item.
49. Listening to the radio in the car with younger siblings/niblings when a song by Alanis Morissette comes on and they say, “Who is this?” and suddenly you realize the grief your parents felt when you didn’t know who Bruce Springsteen was.
50. You’re still not exactly sure when you’re really sick vs. you’re being a weenie because that’s what Moms are for.
51. You’re excited about getting mail for about .5 seconds until you realize it’s all bills, spam and your alma mater asking for cash.
52. The first time you go in to a job interview and you have legit, well-thought out answers to all their questions and then you they hire you because you are actually, completely qualified is such an amazing moment that you don’t understand why they haven’t included the key to the city in your new hire package.
53. You still save Word docs as “Blaargblarg5025″ and you’re wondering when you’ll grow out of that.
54. You have yelled, “Does Taco Tuesday mean nothing to you?” during a heated argument.
55. You comfort yourself with the knowledge that there are soap operas older than you (I’m looking at you, General Hospital).
56. You have a thermometer in your medicine cabinet, but you’ve never used it because if you feel shitty enough to take your temperature, you feel too shitty to get out of bed and walk to the medicine cabinet.
57. Washing dishes is a thing you do when you haven’t got much else going on and you’re waiting for a pot of water to boil.
58. Your parents suddenly seem really old, yet your grandparents are just as old as you remember them.
59. You have nightmares about tripping over your words when you have to answer the phone.
60. The last person to knock on your door was either the pizza guy or a Jehovah’s Witness. Your friends don’t knock and your family certainly just barges right in.
61. You’re just old enough to not remember learning to read.
62. You’re now the young “up and comer” at the office that your father is alternately terrified of/annoyed by.
63. You’re no longer getting taller, you’re actually getting shorter.
64. Suddenly you realize no one has asked you about college in a really long time, and it’s been years since they asked about high school.
65. You have this nagging need to gain closure about a kid (see number 20) you knew in high school who went on to work at a zoo. It bothers you that you don’t know why or how a person becomes a zookeeper. You know they exist, but how?
66. You don’t realize how uninteresting you are until you meet someone who is actually really interesting. This is the time of your life when that’s going to happen, if it hasn’t already.
67. Just when you think you’re still “too young” to worry about cancer, someone your age gets it and you’re like, “Damn it.”
68. Having a lot of condoms either means you have a lot of sex or you haven’t had any in a really long time. Don’t divulge to guests; allow them to wonder.
69. Watching vintage pornography with your best friend seems like a great idea until you realize it’s probably the exact porn your father used to mastubrate to.
70. You realize you don’t actually own a pair of scissors and you don’t know how you let that happen.
71. Until someone points it out, it never occurs to you that you have to clean the top of the faucet in the bathroom sink because that’s where the spit lives.
72. Whenever you sign a check or otherwise important document you get nervous that your signature doesn’t look enough like a previous signature and someone will be like, “Hey, are you really you because when you signed your license three years ago you dotted your I’s with hearts and now you don’t.”
73. When you can’t sleep at night- nine times out of ten- it’s because you remembered that one time when you were like, thirteen, and you peed on your boyfriend, and suddenly your life seems like a terrible mistake.
74. You remember learning to drive and being kind of amazed at how people could just let the wheel slide through their hands when correcting from a turn, and now, when you do that with ease you’re like, “Yeah, that pretty much sums up how I should approach my life.”
And now, you’re probably looking at people older than you and wondering how they just let life slide through their hands — don’t worry, you’ll get there eventually.

The post 74 Symptoms of an Impending Quarter-Life Crisis appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(635) "

You might be due for your Quarter-Life Crisis if… 1. You’ve finally graduated to a “real” email address, something “professional”, though you often find yourself feeling nostalgic for your first email, rife with xx’s, sHiT tYpEd OuT LiKe dIs and a Fall Out Boy reference. 2. You have your own place, most likely with cohabitants, […]

The post 74 Symptoms of an Impending Quarter-Life Crisis appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(12805) "

You might be due for your Quarter-Life Crisis if…

1. You’ve finally graduated to a “real” email address, something “professional”, though you often find yourself feeling nostalgic for your first email, rife with xx’s, sHiT tYpEd OuT LiKe dIs and a Fall Out Boy reference.
2. You have your own place, most likely with cohabitants, but you still sheepishly expect to do laundry whenever you visit your parents.
3. Your Google search history includes questions like “Why does boy pee stain the toilet?” or “I have a hair on my boob, what should I do?”
4. You’re still not 100% sure what a 401k is, but if you have one, you like to say things like “I have a very diverse investment portfolio” at parties.
5. If you have a car, it probably has a college sticker from your alma mater in the back window, and you realize that you are slowly crossing the threshold of people assuming it’s your alma mater to asking if your kid goes there.
6. Coffee is considered either a major food group or, if not that, a daily supplement. It should technically be covered by your health insurance.
7. Your hairstyle is a constant source of insecurity because you can never tell if you look older or younger than your age.
8. You have accumulated a very large collection of pens, 95% of which don’t seem to work but you keep them anyway.
9. Snow Days mean nothing to you. Except, maybe, getting up early to shovel and defrost.
10. “Sick Days” are much harder to justify. Basically, if you aren’t puking or bleeding, you go to work like a grown up.
11. You have at least one contact in your phone that says something along the lines of “Hairflip from Seattle” as a description for a person you once met.
12. You routinely list your childhood best friend on your resume as a “character reference” — because they are, truly, the one person in your life qualified to refer to you as “quite a character.”
13. You’ve already found a few stray gray hairs and you’ve decided to keep them because they make you seem more mature.
14. You’ve said, “Sorry, I’m still pretty new here” for at least the first six months of a new job.
15. Shows like Girls infuriate you: no one you know has an apartment or wardrobe half as chic as those girls.
16. You’ve worn the same pair of underwear for two days because, you know, if you turn them inside out it’s basically like they’re still clean. Right?
17. Alcohol poisoning was not the most serious alcohol related emergency room visit you’ve had.
18. You’re a smoker in the sense that you often say things like “Ugh, I need a cig” when you’re stressed and you like to flash that pack of American Spirits you keep in your purse.
19. You might be the youngest person in your office, but you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who knows anything about #Life.
20. The formula for deciding how offended you are by being called “Kid” is as follows:
Person calling you ‘kid’ = >age 50= minimally offended
Person calling you ‘kid’ =<50= extremely offended Person calling you ‘kid’ = >/=75= you are like “Aww, that’s so cute, I am a kid!”
21. Suddenly everyone is “really chill” talking about masturbation.
22. The amount of money you spend on bachelorette/baby shower gifts suddenly precludes any actual social activities with friends that would cost money.
23. People no longer ask what your parents do; they ask what you do.
24. And if they do happen to ask what your parents do, your recent revelation that they are “people” and not just “your parents” leads you to respond with something like, “Well, my father is an investment banker and a functioning alcoholic!”
25. Going to sleep before nine pm is to present-day-you as staying up later than seven pm was to childhood-you.
26. You pat yourself on the back for buying floss whenever you go to the drug store, but the reality is, you don’t use it fast enough to warrant as much as you buy, so suddenly you are drowning in floss which is taunting you with anxiety provoking thoughts like “You aren’t flossing enough! You’re increasing your risk of heart disease!”
27.You see a cute baby in the grocery store in the cereal aisle and you think,“Oh, I can’t wait to be a parent.” but by the time you get to the milk you’ve heard enough screaming children to do a 180 and as you grab your gallon of 2% you shudder at the realization of “Ugh, kids.”
28. When you go for a physical and the doctor asks you how much exercise you get in a week you’re like, “Well, not that much I guess but I’m always really tired so I think I must be doing enough physical activity.”
29. Your yoga mat is serving you well as a bath mat.
30. You like to think you know about world affairs but even if you don’t you’ve figured out that saying “I can’t believe what’s happening in (insert any country, even your own) is always a conversation starter.
31. Every month when you cut a check for rent you say, “Didn’t I just pay the rent?”
32. You’ve had to cover up a poorly placed laugh by saying something like,“I’m sorry, I’ve just never met anyone whose last name is actually Butman before.”
33. You semi-understand that your tax return isn’t exactly “free money” but it still is a nice surprise.
34. If you say you don’t like something and someone asks why, if you don’t feel like explaining it to them you just sigh and say, “It’s bad for the economy.”
35. On a first date you’ve been poised to ask, “So, how often are we realistically going to have sex?”
36. You have a separate ringtone on your phone for your mother so that you can prepare to sound as sober as possible when you answer the phone.
37. Even though you were on the receiving end, you’ve apologized for accidental anal because, you know, you’re like sorry that your butthole was just like, right there.
38. You have called your best friend specifically to ask them how they poop, because you are really starting to question if the western way is the best way.
39. You have had an inconvenient boner and surrendered to it. Maybe if you keep talking no one will notice. . .
40. You’re never sure when you can use a smiley face in a work email, but once you see someone else do it you’re relieved.
41. You budget your groceries in the sense that if it’s above a certain amount when you check out, you audibly groan.
42. If you’re in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married. If you’re not in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married.
43. You have a Pinterest board specifically dedicated to getting you into your “happy place” after a hard day. May or may not include puppies.
44. You’ve specifically denied that there are any similarities between your current girlfriend and your mother.
45. “Free food” is a pick-up line.
46. When attempting to “woo” a potential date, you’ve heard yourself say, “My roommates are totally chill with me having people overnight.” — unless, of course, you still live with your parents.
47. When a job you’re applying for requires you to have “reliable transportation” you wonder what exactly qualifies as “reliable.”
48. Your willing adherence to expiration dates is directly proportional to how much money you spent on the item.
49. Listening to the radio in the car with younger siblings/niblings when a song by Alanis Morissette comes on and they say, “Who is this?” and suddenly you realize the grief your parents felt when you didn’t know who Bruce Springsteen was.
50. You’re still not exactly sure when you’re really sick vs. you’re being a weenie because that’s what Moms are for.
51. You’re excited about getting mail for about .5 seconds until you realize it’s all bills, spam and your alma mater asking for cash.
52. The first time you go in to a job interview and you have legit, well-thought out answers to all their questions and then you they hire you because you are actually, completely qualified is such an amazing moment that you don’t understand why they haven’t included the key to the city in your new hire package.
53. You still save Word docs as “Blaargblarg5025″ and you’re wondering when you’ll grow out of that.
54. You have yelled, “Does Taco Tuesday mean nothing to you?” during a heated argument.
55. You comfort yourself with the knowledge that there are soap operas older than you (I’m looking at you, General Hospital).
56. You have a thermometer in your medicine cabinet, but you’ve never used it because if you feel shitty enough to take your temperature, you feel too shitty to get out of bed and walk to the medicine cabinet.
57. Washing dishes is a thing you do when you haven’t got much else going on and you’re waiting for a pot of water to boil.
58. Your parents suddenly seem really old, yet your grandparents are just as old as you remember them.
59. You have nightmares about tripping over your words when you have to answer the phone.
60. The last person to knock on your door was either the pizza guy or a Jehovah’s Witness. Your friends don’t knock and your family certainly just barges right in.
61. You’re just old enough to not remember learning to read.
62. You’re now the young “up and comer” at the office that your father is alternately terrified of/annoyed by.
63. You’re no longer getting taller, you’re actually getting shorter.
64. Suddenly you realize no one has asked you about college in a really long time, and it’s been years since they asked about high school.
65. You have this nagging need to gain closure about a kid (see number 20) you knew in high school who went on to work at a zoo. It bothers you that you don’t know why or how a person becomes a zookeeper. You know they exist, but how?
66. You don’t realize how uninteresting you are until you meet someone who is actually really interesting. This is the time of your life when that’s going to happen, if it hasn’t already.
67. Just when you think you’re still “too young” to worry about cancer, someone your age gets it and you’re like, “Damn it.”
68. Having a lot of condoms either means you have a lot of sex or you haven’t had any in a really long time. Don’t divulge to guests; allow them to wonder.
69. Watching vintage pornography with your best friend seems like a great idea until you realize it’s probably the exact porn your father used to mastubrate to.
70. You realize you don’t actually own a pair of scissors and you don’t know how you let that happen.
71. Until someone points it out, it never occurs to you that you have to clean the top of the faucet in the bathroom sink because that’s where the spit lives.
72. Whenever you sign a check or otherwise important document you get nervous that your signature doesn’t look enough like a previous signature and someone will be like, “Hey, are you really you because when you signed your license three years ago you dotted your I’s with hearts and now you don’t.”
73. When you can’t sleep at night- nine times out of ten- it’s because you remembered that one time when you were like, thirteen, and you peed on your boyfriend, and suddenly your life seems like a terrible mistake.
74. You remember learning to drive and being kind of amazed at how people could just let the wheel slide through their hands when correcting from a turn, and now, when you do that with ease you’re like, “Yeah, that pretty much sums up how I should approach my life.”
And now, you’re probably looking at people older than you and wondering how they just let life slide through their hands — don’t worry, you’ll get there eventually.

The post 74 Symptoms of an Impending Quarter-Life Crisis appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575907321) } [8]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(47) "What To Do When You’re the Only Single Friend" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/09/what-to-do-when-youre-the-only-single-friend/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Dec 2019 15:47:31 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(36) "Relationship Advicebest friendfriend" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3788" ["description"]=> string(616) "

Has your newsfeed on Facebook and Instagram been bombarded with “newly engaged” posts lately? Mine sure as hell has. I may only be in my young twenties, inching my way towards the fabulous mid-twenties, but it seems that I’ve already entered that stage in life where everyone around me is starting to get engaged, married […]

The post What To Do When You’re the Only Single Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6800) "

Has your newsfeed on Facebook and Instagram been bombarded with “newly engaged” posts lately? Mine sure as hell has. I may only be in my young twenties, inching my way towards the fabulous mid-twenties, but it seems that I’ve already entered that stage in life where everyone around me is starting to get engaged, married or at least really settle down with their significant other. Meanwhile I’m waking up every day to a cuddly yet annoying cat drooling on my face with all the leg room in the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not envious. In fact, for those of my friends who have settled down (as in moved in with their boyfriends already) or even gotten engaged, I am truly happy for them. After years of knowing many of them and constantly being their shoulder to cry on when shit hits the fan, I am happy that they are happy. Yet, when you’re single-as-fuck, you can’t help but really take notice at just how many people your age are advancing dramatically in their relationships while you’re still in your sweats watching Netflix on Friday night.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with still being single at this age, or any age for that matter. However, it does get tough and some people have a much harder time dealing with all of these changes. No one wants to be left behind and sometimes that’s exactly what it feels like when all of your friends are taking such big, life-altering steps.

So what’s a single gal to do? First of all, you should NEVER compare herself to others! You are your own person and you have your own path to carve. You are unique, so of course your life will be unique as well. Just because you don’t fit the “status quo” doesn’t mean you are worth any less.

As someone who is currently the designated single friend, I want to share some of my tips and advice on how to deal with this type of situation:

When You’re the Only Single Friend

Be Happy for Them

Believe me when I say I know how difficult it may be to actually be happy for your friends. You’d think it would come easy, being happy for someone you love and care about, but sometimes it really isn’t. We’re only human after all. It’s okay to have a hard time accepting these changes and finding a way to truly be happy for them. It’s not okay to be jealous or hateful. They are your friends and they deserve your support. If anything, you want good karma coming your way. And you sure as hell better believe you will get a ton of bad karma if you’re a mean-spirited bitch about their happiness.

Focus on the Good in Your Life

At times like these, when everyone seems to have what you [may or may not] want, it’s difficult to see what is good about your life. That’s why it’s really important that you focus on all the good things happening in your life so you don’t fall into that pit of despair. Make a list of all you have to be grateful for (and we all have something).

Don’t Shut People Out

This can be so easy to do, especially with your friends who are newly coupled up or engaged. You may think avoiding them is the best solution, but all that will do is harm your friendship. If you have a friend who can’t shut up about their significant other, perhaps let them gently know that they are making you feel uncomfortable and you’d appreciate it if you could talk about other subjects. If they get mad or can’t understand where you’re coming from, then that’s on them.

Change What Can Be Changed

You may not be able to magically order yourself up a boyfriend, but there are things you can do to be more proactive in your life. If you’re not happy about how something is going, change it. If there’s nothing you can change, don’t even worry about it. Feeling bummed about the extra weight you put on? Exercise and eat right. Not getting enough of a social life? Volunteer or join some sort of club where you can meet new people. There should never be any excuses. Learn to empower yourself.

Don’t Settle

This is a biggie. Lots of women may feel the need to settle for whatever comes their way just because they don’t want to be alone. Others may stay in a relationship that has run it’s course or is toxic. You owe yourself much more than that. You deserve happiness, but that doesn’t mean you need to have someone just to have someone. Your time will come, until then focus on yourself and how you can become a better person.

Whether single or not, we never really know what life has in store for us. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. One of the few things in life that we can count on, however, are close friendships. Friendships that stand true through all the good and bad. The meaning of friendship starts to change as we grow older, but if anything, it starts to mean so much more. So don’t resent them, or anyone for that matter, because they have something you want. Don’t be scared or worried that you’re the one left behind. Rather than fueling those negative emotions, use this time to focus on yourself and how you can improve your life. Before you know it, you’ll be the one everyone’s congratulating (whether it’s because of an engagement, or just for being your kick-ass self).

Have you ever felt like the odd one out, whether it was because you were the only single friend or something else?

The post What To Do When You’re the Only Single Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(616) "

Has your newsfeed on Facebook and Instagram been bombarded with “newly engaged” posts lately? Mine sure as hell has. I may only be in my young twenties, inching my way towards the fabulous mid-twenties, but it seems that I’ve already entered that stage in life where everyone around me is starting to get engaged, married […]

The post What To Do When You’re the Only Single Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6800) "

Has your newsfeed on Facebook and Instagram been bombarded with “newly engaged” posts lately? Mine sure as hell has. I may only be in my young twenties, inching my way towards the fabulous mid-twenties, but it seems that I’ve already entered that stage in life where everyone around me is starting to get engaged, married or at least really settle down with their significant other. Meanwhile I’m waking up every day to a cuddly yet annoying cat drooling on my face with all the leg room in the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not envious. In fact, for those of my friends who have settled down (as in moved in with their boyfriends already) or even gotten engaged, I am truly happy for them. After years of knowing many of them and constantly being their shoulder to cry on when shit hits the fan, I am happy that they are happy. Yet, when you’re single-as-fuck, you can’t help but really take notice at just how many people your age are advancing dramatically in their relationships while you’re still in your sweats watching Netflix on Friday night.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with still being single at this age, or any age for that matter. However, it does get tough and some people have a much harder time dealing with all of these changes. No one wants to be left behind and sometimes that’s exactly what it feels like when all of your friends are taking such big, life-altering steps.

So what’s a single gal to do? First of all, you should NEVER compare herself to others! You are your own person and you have your own path to carve. You are unique, so of course your life will be unique as well. Just because you don’t fit the “status quo” doesn’t mean you are worth any less.

As someone who is currently the designated single friend, I want to share some of my tips and advice on how to deal with this type of situation:

When You’re the Only Single Friend

Be Happy for Them

Believe me when I say I know how difficult it may be to actually be happy for your friends. You’d think it would come easy, being happy for someone you love and care about, but sometimes it really isn’t. We’re only human after all. It’s okay to have a hard time accepting these changes and finding a way to truly be happy for them. It’s not okay to be jealous or hateful. They are your friends and they deserve your support. If anything, you want good karma coming your way. And you sure as hell better believe you will get a ton of bad karma if you’re a mean-spirited bitch about their happiness.

Focus on the Good in Your Life

At times like these, when everyone seems to have what you [may or may not] want, it’s difficult to see what is good about your life. That’s why it’s really important that you focus on all the good things happening in your life so you don’t fall into that pit of despair. Make a list of all you have to be grateful for (and we all have something).

Don’t Shut People Out

This can be so easy to do, especially with your friends who are newly coupled up or engaged. You may think avoiding them is the best solution, but all that will do is harm your friendship. If you have a friend who can’t shut up about their significant other, perhaps let them gently know that they are making you feel uncomfortable and you’d appreciate it if you could talk about other subjects. If they get mad or can’t understand where you’re coming from, then that’s on them.

Change What Can Be Changed

You may not be able to magically order yourself up a boyfriend, but there are things you can do to be more proactive in your life. If you’re not happy about how something is going, change it. If there’s nothing you can change, don’t even worry about it. Feeling bummed about the extra weight you put on? Exercise and eat right. Not getting enough of a social life? Volunteer or join some sort of club where you can meet new people. There should never be any excuses. Learn to empower yourself.

Don’t Settle

This is a biggie. Lots of women may feel the need to settle for whatever comes their way just because they don’t want to be alone. Others may stay in a relationship that has run it’s course or is toxic. You owe yourself much more than that. You deserve happiness, but that doesn’t mean you need to have someone just to have someone. Your time will come, until then focus on yourself and how you can become a better person.

Whether single or not, we never really know what life has in store for us. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. One of the few things in life that we can count on, however, are close friendships. Friendships that stand true through all the good and bad. The meaning of friendship starts to change as we grow older, but if anything, it starts to mean so much more. So don’t resent them, or anyone for that matter, because they have something you want. Don’t be scared or worried that you’re the one left behind. Rather than fueling those negative emotions, use this time to focus on yourself and how you can improve your life. Before you know it, you’ll be the one everyone’s congratulating (whether it’s because of an engagement, or just for being your kick-ass self).

Have you ever felt like the odd one out, whether it was because you were the only single friend or something else?

The post What To Do When You’re the Only Single Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575906451) } [9]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(21) "Tools of Independence" ["link"]=> string(60) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/09/tools-of-independence/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Dec 2019 15:38:31 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(59) "Personal Growthattitudeindependencelifestyletime management" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3785" ["description"]=> string(570) "

Being independent can mean different things to different people, but for the most part it’s empowering and confidence boosting to know that you can simply stand on your own two feet. There’re a lot of men out there who like to think they’re independent but also rely on others to help them with a lot of this stuff. Make […]

The post Tools of Independence appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4504) "

Being independent can mean different things to different people, but for the most part it’s empowering and confidence boosting to know that you can simply stand on your own two feet. There’re a lot of men out there who like to think they’re independent but also rely on others to help them with a lot of this stuff.

Make sure you know some basic life skills, and you can truly hold your head up say “I can take care of myself”. Gain true independence with these helpful tools.

Money Management

I know, zzzzzzzzz right? But hear me out for just a paragraph or two. Before you pop off shopping.

Let us assume that you are working, you are skilled up and earning your potential right now. Doing well. None of that means a flying fig if you don’t know how to manage your money right.

Learn how to budget, live within your means, invest wisely and save. Boring? Possibly. But if you can manage your money well you’ll overcome one of the most common factors of life that most of us perceive we need, and ask for help with. Control your money. Don’t let it, or lack of it, control you.

Look After Yourself

Only visit the docs when someone prods you? Always buying take-out because you can’t cook? Use the Laundromat because they do the laundry better? Have someone help you clean? And young guys can be particularly bad at this but we’re all a bit guilty at times.

Missing Mum much?!

Every living and able person on this planet owes it to themselves and those around them to be capable of handling all their own shit. We should all be able to fly the nest as a young adult into one of our own, and NOT need someone else to help us keep it or to help us look after our health and diet.

Think someone who can’t take care of themselves is attractive? Er, think again.

Learn how to cook, how to clean, how to work the washing machine. And learn well! These aren’t hard things to master and we should all know how.

Be a Handy Gal (or Guy)

Another very common thing we ask for help with in our busy lives (and end up paying through the nose for) is maintaining and fixing our stuff.

And it can slow a girl down, when something breaks as you’re using it. You’re forced to stop, just because you don’t know what to do next without calling for help. Only knowledge, which is freely available in books, online and from your Dad probably, stops you from being able to maintain your car and fix or repair most things in your home. Find out how and never be stopped by a blown fuse, plumbing leak, PC in need of a Reboot or flat tyre again.

Think Survival

You may think your biggest daily adventure is the commute to work, but life throws us in all sorts of directions at times and the key to independence and survival often is knowing what to do in times of adversity. And besides, if your days biggest adventure is the commute to work – don’t you just yearn to shake things up a bit and take a road trip across Outer Mongolia or something?! If you do, you’ll definitely need to be able to adapt.

But no matter how routine your adventures, it doesn’t hurt to know some basics. Make sure you know how to chop wood and light a fire. Know distress signals and emergency numbers. Depending on where you live, even things like knowledge of poisonous plants and deadly critters can be handy at times.

Learn some First Aid too! Don’t laugh, I’m not suggesting you train to be a Paramedic. Although you can, of course, if you feel inclined. But know how to dress a wound, stem the flow of blood, resuscitate, what to do if you’re first on the scene of an accident.

Not only will it help you look after yourself, if life ever puts you or a fellow human in peril, your knowledge could help or even save another.

And if, after stabilizing all the injured, you can build a camp and cook Squirrel with Wild Mushrooms on the fire whilst you wait for the air ambulance – how cool would THAT be?!

The post Tools of Independence appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(570) "

Being independent can mean different things to different people, but for the most part it’s empowering and confidence boosting to know that you can simply stand on your own two feet. There’re a lot of men out there who like to think they’re independent but also rely on others to help them with a lot of this stuff. Make […]

The post Tools of Independence appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4504) "

Being independent can mean different things to different people, but for the most part it’s empowering and confidence boosting to know that you can simply stand on your own two feet. There’re a lot of men out there who like to think they’re independent but also rely on others to help them with a lot of this stuff.

Make sure you know some basic life skills, and you can truly hold your head up say “I can take care of myself”. Gain true independence with these helpful tools.

Money Management

I know, zzzzzzzzz right? But hear me out for just a paragraph or two. Before you pop off shopping.

Let us assume that you are working, you are skilled up and earning your potential right now. Doing well. None of that means a flying fig if you don’t know how to manage your money right.

Learn how to budget, live within your means, invest wisely and save. Boring? Possibly. But if you can manage your money well you’ll overcome one of the most common factors of life that most of us perceive we need, and ask for help with. Control your money. Don’t let it, or lack of it, control you.

Look After Yourself

Only visit the docs when someone prods you? Always buying take-out because you can’t cook? Use the Laundromat because they do the laundry better? Have someone help you clean? And young guys can be particularly bad at this but we’re all a bit guilty at times.

Missing Mum much?!

Every living and able person on this planet owes it to themselves and those around them to be capable of handling all their own shit. We should all be able to fly the nest as a young adult into one of our own, and NOT need someone else to help us keep it or to help us look after our health and diet.

Think someone who can’t take care of themselves is attractive? Er, think again.

Learn how to cook, how to clean, how to work the washing machine. And learn well! These aren’t hard things to master and we should all know how.

Be a Handy Gal (or Guy)

Another very common thing we ask for help with in our busy lives (and end up paying through the nose for) is maintaining and fixing our stuff.

And it can slow a girl down, when something breaks as you’re using it. You’re forced to stop, just because you don’t know what to do next without calling for help. Only knowledge, which is freely available in books, online and from your Dad probably, stops you from being able to maintain your car and fix or repair most things in your home. Find out how and never be stopped by a blown fuse, plumbing leak, PC in need of a Reboot or flat tyre again.

Think Survival

You may think your biggest daily adventure is the commute to work, but life throws us in all sorts of directions at times and the key to independence and survival often is knowing what to do in times of adversity. And besides, if your days biggest adventure is the commute to work – don’t you just yearn to shake things up a bit and take a road trip across Outer Mongolia or something?! If you do, you’ll definitely need to be able to adapt.

But no matter how routine your adventures, it doesn’t hurt to know some basics. Make sure you know how to chop wood and light a fire. Know distress signals and emergency numbers. Depending on where you live, even things like knowledge of poisonous plants and deadly critters can be handy at times.

Learn some First Aid too! Don’t laugh, I’m not suggesting you train to be a Paramedic. Although you can, of course, if you feel inclined. But know how to dress a wound, stem the flow of blood, resuscitate, what to do if you’re first on the scene of an accident.

Not only will it help you look after yourself, if life ever puts you or a fellow human in peril, your knowledge could help or even save another.

And if, after stabilizing all the injured, you can build a camp and cook Squirrel with Wild Mushrooms on the fire whilst you wait for the air ambulance – how cool would THAT be?!

The post Tools of Independence appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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