Thank God…

The official JCR song to be sung at the end of every meeting, whenever the lash penguin says so and whenever it is deemed inappropriate for polite company e.g. Mary’s formals.

THANK GOD VAN MILDERT DIDN’T WANT ME
To the tune of John Brown’s Body

When I first came to Durham I was such a nice young man,
But now the Ex and Brown has caused much shaking of the hand.
Cirrhosis of the liver is the one foreseeable end,
I’m a student down at Cuth’s in the South Bailey

Chorus:
Thank God Van Mildert didn’t want me (x3)
So I ended up in Cuth’s in the South Bailey

I found accommodation: it was only eight miles out,
I had an awful landlady who’d scream and stamp about.
I started out a nice young man now I’m a drunken lout,
Thank God the bar is open down in Cuth’s, 2,3,4 …

Chorus

I once went to a lecture and it nearly made me weep,
The lecturer went on and on until I fell asleep.
To think my whole future lies with such a boring creep,
Thank God the bar is open down at Cuth’s, 2,3,4 …

Chorus

I met a very nice young girl, she said she came from Trevs,
I asked her for a coffee and she said let’s go to bed.
I went to get some bubble-gum, but the bastard had none left,
Thank God the bar is open down in Cuth’s, 2,3,4 …

Chorus

And now the time has come for me to leave this wonderful place,
To go into the big wide world and fall flat on my face,
But I’ll be back each Cuth’s Day just to see all my old mates,
And get pissed again down in Cuth’s, 2,3,4 …